The Marvelous Miss Malkavich

First Amendment Rights

2010-08-18T03:20:00.000-07:00

I'd like to preface this by saying that I do not condone with what Dr. Laura said. But, do I think that she was being racist? No, not at all. Would Dr. Laura have been more sympathetic to the caller if she were more like the doctor and was complaining about her husband's friends and family making anti-semitic remarks? Maybe. Do I believe Dr. Laura is out out touch? Yes, very. Most people in her demographic are. (I'm happy that Larry King is retiring.) I thought that above all else she was rude and insensitive to the caller. She treated the caller as though what she was saying was completely without merit and that she [the caller] was just being overly sensitive.

The situation was really as simple as stepping in to someone else's shoes which it seemed that the doctor was unable to, didn't want to or maybe it just isn't her style to do. It seemed like from the transcripts of the show that Dr. Laura had some things of her own that she wanted to sound off about. Maybe one thing being that she didn't have a right to use a certain word because of the color of her skin. Language for good or bad does belong to us all and so does the responsibility in its use.

I do believe that she has a right to voice her opinion (to a certain extent) on her radio show but I feel for the caller. I feel for them both actually.

I have been labeled as being racially overly sensitive myself when I have in the past only merely stated facts. If you did it, said it--own it, (is all I was saying.) The facts are the facts and they don't change. Over sensitive seems to be the go to phrase that people use when they are trying to blame the victim thereby escaping accountability, social and otherwise.

I have been made to feel as though I have no rights to an opinion even on my own blog that I thought no one read. Yes, I have used bad words as a form of self expression. Yes, my blog started out as a way to make fun of people (mainly celebrities) for profit. It didn't remain that way because making fun of people is hard work for me because I'm not naturally a mean person and moreover it just felt wrong. Other people do it and say far worse than I could ever imagine but nothing I ever wrote was to be taken as literally as it has been made out to be. ( I'll take that as a lesson learned and guess what? I own it). "Move over, Over- Sensitive and say hello to Brave."

No, it's just unlike others I "don't hang my shit on other people". ( Madonna's words-- not mine.) My personality is multifaceted and I'm not hard; I have a heart ( a big compassionate one) but this is where I greatly differ from others that I have been compared to. I have never put a loaded, color coded, group identifying adjective in front of any of the dirty words that I have written or spoken there by disapasparaging anyone because of their race, creed or religion. To do that is wrong and down right low. Besides every bad deed must be atoned for somewhere-- "Help! Someone all the karma police!" It also has an air of illegality to it ( especially in print) that also makes me want to stay away from any base urges that creep up along side of me while sometimes going out on a limb to prove a point and or to win an argument. I'm also not one to trample on someone else's Civil Rights.

One would think that I'm one of the good guys in the blogosphere realm so to speak because at least I'm conscientious. I never dropped the N word once let alone eleven times on a radio show or in the office for that matter but yet even I am made to feel that I don't have a right to an opinion maybe because I'm a woman and when people see me they have their own image and ideas of what I'm supposed to be based on what I look like. Although they have no idea of who I am, where I come from or what's in my heart.

It's sad that no one sees Dr. Laura's point, although it's difficult and there is a lot to get around (that pesky use of one word that quite honestly no one, no matter what color they are should or want to use. Yes, rappers and comedians I'm talking to you too.) She did have one.

Image via vegasrex.com

An Ultimate Destination

2010-08-08T08:00:00.001-07:00

Sunday August 8, 2010

Every relationship we have prior to meeting our soul mate is merely a step on the path to our ultimate destination. No relationship, even if it ends up in divorce, is a mistake. Every relationship serves a profound purpose by taking us closer to our true soul mate.

The trick is, are we taking the opportunity to transform our nature by learning from our mistakes? If we don’t learn from our mistakes, we’ll wind up in another relationship that will merely be a repeat of those lessons that came before. Only the names and faces will be different.

Today, think about one thing you messed up royally in a previous relationship. How can you do things different now?

Yehuda Berg (Daily Kabbalah Tune Up)

An Uncompromised Life

2010-06-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

I can't even pretend to be an eloquent person especially in the morning. My actual thoughts don't start to form solidly until around two in the afternoon. In this case I will make an attempt no matter how feeble to speak about someone that I a mere mortal such as I can hardly begin to fathom; That super nova being English magazine editor and international style icon Isabella Blow.

I admit that there was a time not long before now that I didn't really know that much about her other than from seeing pictures of her in some fabulous hat here and there or getting some bit of news about her from the Daily Mail or style.com about what she wore to some event or what fashion phenom was her latest discovery. However, the news about her death was hard to ignore. The reports about how she died and the tributes paid to her after her passing have left an indelible mark on my soul and will stay with me, I'm sure for the rest of my life. It's hard for me to understand why someone so brave, brilliant, gifted, known and loved could take her life so tragically because she was everything that I wish, I could be and she seemed to have everything that I thought I ever wanted.

There are several stories circulating about why she may have done it--The top two being that she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer the other being that she was depressed but both seem to be somehow intertwined. Well who really knows for sure other than her family, close friends and Ms. Blow herself. Besides when it comes down to it; It really is a private matter.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon a beautiful picture of Isabella Blow taken by the incomparable Steven Meisel on a popular fashion blog where her haircut was being compared in a side by side to that of Jim Carry's character in the movie Dumb and Dumber. Yes, it was meant to be funny and I'm sure was thought of at the time from the Blog Master's perspective as harmless. I saw the point that was being made and I'm sure it was[funny] to more than a few but not to me.

It isn't my place to judge what others say or do on their blogs especially when theirs are way more popular than mine. (Hello audience of one-- With the sole reader being myself! ) But I do think that we as human beings should have more reverence for the dead especially when a life ends as tragically and as beautifully as Isabella Blow's did. Its sad to think that upon dying she may have worried than she "hadn't taken enough poison."

Peeps Show 2010

2010-04-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, yes, I've seen them before. I've just never seen them wearing trench coats and doing poses. I tend to stay away from the Easter candy. It kinda creeps me out.

I guess, I never got over the time when I got this chocolate rabbit and I of course felt very rebellious; just to think a Jew eating a chocolate Easter rabbit all wrapped in the shiny colorful foil. Ooo, and he was wearing a lavender and pink suit with teal detailing!

Being a sucker for the fashion and the shiny, I of course peeled away his foil suit-- Oh, so carefully. I wanted to keep it and press it-out. I thought that I would keep it forever. Yes, I had plans for the rabbit and his suit.
To make a long story short I went to bite into his ear-- The damn thing was hollow and crumbled like a freakin' deck of cards.

I expected him to be like I thought moreover assumed that they all were "Solid". I mean why bother if they weren't right? I threw the rabbit and his suit away. I felt like such a dirty whore and I never told my mother becuase she would have said that the rabbit was off limits in the first place.

Ever since then Easter candy has given me the creeps and I stay away from the stuff.

Now I have a renewed interest and its nice to know that they (the peeps) have a name :-)

Thanks G!

There's a reasonable explanation for all my neuroses,

M.M.

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

Where's The Funny?

2009-09-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, in an odd twist of irony... My work bully, the one that I have endured years of cynical, racist, disparaging remarks from, the one that openly laughed at my productorial aspirations, the one that told me that I was "never gonna achieve" for one reason or another ( yes, she gave me reasons, albeit stupid reasons), the one that not only said horrible things about me and my loved ones behind my back but to my face, the one whose side everyone chose over mine, the one that I dreamed of punching in the mouth one day, the one that worked the titty bar circuit on the Alaskan Pipeline, the fifty year old, the one that wears braces but who is still orthadontically challenged, the blonde one, the former trailer park dweller, the one that I would dare not call my nemesis because that would be to much like saying that she was my equal is working at the new company too.

G-d has a sense of humor but I'm not laughing yet.

Something New

2009-08-29T17:20:00.000-07:00

You know… I've never been one of these people that have this be like a duck and let it slide attitude. When I moved to L.A. I tried to be this person that I clearly wasn’t.

I don't know what it was that inspired this change in me. Maybe, it was that my old approach didn't seem to be garnering the results that I wanted them to. Honestly, I wanted to be loved and loved so much so that I became this person that I thought I needed to be in order to get what I thought that I wanted.

I was wrong but I think, it’s kind of brave to try a new way of not only doing things but of actually existing; Where your mental stability hangs in the balance.

Thankfully, I made it through--Though not unscathed--but changed.

Let it never be said that I was afraid to try new things.

Grace

2009-08-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

Grace is the receipt of a positive benefit that one does not necessarily deserves to receive--This time speaking in terms of my friendship but I always think...Who am I to really to deny anyone. Relating to people even ones that are difficult is an opportunity to grow.

I thought you were gone forever from my life when you moved away and started a family. I was happy that you found happiness with a person that you could share your life with. I thought that we’d lost touch and it was something that I gladly excepted because agreeing with you all of the time was really a lot of work or at least our friendship was more work for me than it was really worth because I often felt as though there was no reciprocal benefit for me. Especially after the bizarre text that you sent chastisingly informing me that I should remember the meaning of Christmas Day after I had sent you an e- holiday greeting with Jesus (pronounced Heh-soo, from The Big Labowski, ) dressed in a purple leisure suit and I take it that you thought that I was making fun of Jesus which was never my intent.

It was actually more insensitive of you to send me that text bearing in mind that I’m Jewish ( Christmas was and is a day that we have always ordered Chinese food ). Although, Jesus is inspiring, he is the hero of many and he never did anything to me--I have no plans on ever switching sides by converting, perhaps that makes you uneasy but then you found me again on Facebook.

I let you in and now I'm stifled again. I can no longer express myself in the carefree comforts of my own home page as I once had with out some angry judgmental rant of yours.

I've humbly walked myself back countless times and I'm obliged to think that I could be wrong (which is just my way) and I'm often the first to admit when and if I'm wrong. I would much rather be the one hurt then to know that I hurt another person.

Friendship cuts both ways you know and If I can except you
for all of your stupid, small, nonsensical opinions and not judge you so why can't you do the same when my opinions aren't half as idiotic as most of yours.

If Jesus is really your hero, at least walk the talk that you preach by being a good Christian because I refuse to play small anymore so that you can feel better about yourselves.

Like Attracts Like

2009-08-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

Karl Lagerfeld once said that one shouldn't look to others for approval of ones own mental stability.... And to that I say, Bravo!
To truly march to the beat of your own drum is always easier said than done.

You know...I must say that I was a little surprised when you took that idiot's side over mine, today. I don't know why I was so surprised because actually when I think about it, really think about it--You were always one for controversy which, is why David never liked you in the first place. Besides, you were also one to forget who your friends were but I never would have imagined that you would forget me so quickly because I counted you as one of my longest known and closest friend.

It all happened so fast and it seemed to come out no where. It's okay. It really is.

But, if I can tell you anything from my many years of experience of being around shady, toxic people in L.A.

--Always make sure that you pick the winning side i.e make sure that you have all the information because once the bets are in there's no turning back, not in Vegas and not with me.

Though, I'll continue to sincerely wish you always the best of luck in all your endeavors and from what I saw today; You're going to need it.

FYI...She's mentally unstable and needs medication but of course she doesn't believe that because she's marching to the beat of her own band.

Just My Opinion

2009-08-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

To CNN Campbell Brown No Bias, No Bull:

I don't think that Whoopi Goldberg or anyone else has the right to speak about or explain President Obama's views and how he thinks just because they're black and he also happens to be. Whoopi is not a spokesperson for black culture and she as well as others should speak for themselves and preface that in their interviews.

If you look at President Obama's background his experiences are unique to him. A lot of people no matter their race have not shared his experience. I really don't understand what you were fishing for Campbell. It's like if someone asked Candy Crowley to explain why Sarah Palin comes off as a rambling idiot hunter and you [Campbell] don't. You're both white women, right?

Yes, he's black (actually bi-racial) but he's also a very intelligent unique human being and no, we (ethnics) are not all the same and don't speak with one voice. Maybe, Soledad O’Brian can do a show about that.

I love CNN but I hate that you guys always bring race into it.

A comment I sent to CNN about the Tuesday August 4, 2009 show that obviously rubbed me the wrong way when Campbell Brown asked Whoopi Goldberg during an interview if President Obama needed to do things differently because he was black. Campbell Brown went on to ask if Whoopi if the President viewed the world differnetly because he was black.

Mugler On The Mind In Three Parts

2008-07-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

THIERRY MUGLER COUTURE PRINTEMPS-ÉTÉ 1997

Many thanks, muglerman

Independent Thinking

2008-07-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

To CNN

Re: Black In America Program

I'd like to thank you for helping to once again solidify black stereotypes and dividing our nation. What it really means to be black in America is simply to be an individual and to be accepted as such. It's what I want and honestly, every time I hear the commercial for your program I cringe because you are giving others or have given others the power to speak for me.

Isn't that what freedom is all about: to have the ability to speak for yourself --At bare minimum? I think that enough Americans, black and white (to name only two), have died for me to have those rights and you take my voice away by asking a few celebrities and others to speak out, like we have all had the same experiences.

My experience is hardly the same as Vanessa Williams’ or Spike Lee’s yet, I too am an artist. Both are more successful than most, they’ve gotten the opportunity to express their art, gotten paid for it and yet they are still angry. Could it be a more personal, more human impetus that drives Mr. Lee’s anger and not the disparity and marginalization of black people?

Being a better human being is something we should "all" strive for not just being a better black man or woman, which seems to me, a bit basic and outdated at best.

The question, you really should have asked is what does being black in America mean to you?

Next time do a show on what it means to be American and include everyone.

Adeiu Yves

2008-06-01T14:56:00.000-07:00

Stormy Weather

2008-01-30T10:55:00.000-08:00

When it rains I often ask myself --Why am I in this ugly, dirty, racist town?
If not for my career which is nonexistant at the moment then for what I ask?
Another failed dream.

Photo By: Phil Dev

Bad Managers

2007-12-17T21:08:00.000-08:00

After the double dirty look you gave me today that made me cry and after the biting rebut that followed when I asked if I had done something wrong, but the coup d'état was when I asked you for a word and you said in your vicious queeny way that "you didn't have time".

Consider what ever it was that I did as paid in full.

Perfectionista

2007-12-04T20:28:00.000-08:00

After a very hard day at work today were I almost quit ( actually I think I did quit but my resignation wasn't excepted) I sat down to check my email and to catch up on the day's news. I came across this article in the New York Times and it got me to thinking about some of my tenets and how they effect me and the people around me. I've been called a tough cookie, a ball buster and a real BITCH. To the latter, I'm flattered because it's not like I put forth the effort. It just comes naturally for me and I think being a good bitch has more to do with perspective.

Isn't that just precious. I'm unassuming.

Truthfully, I'm more of a MotherF*^@#r when I put my mind to it but usually I keep my hat on, so to speak.

I admit that if I expected from others half of what I expected of myself, I would be more depressed than I am now or I would be waiting forever and it would just be done wrong anyway--So why even bother.

Perhaps, I'm not depressed but just disgruntled.

Hence without further ado and in no particular order...

I believe that one can never be too rich or too thin.

I believe that a woman should be called Miss or Madame never ma-am not unless being rude is your intention or you're in the south.

I believe that most ( and I say most only to be kind) Hip Hop in not real music and that it is just mumbled noise that has made an ugly blemish on society by glamorizing thug life, promoting the ill treatment of women ands disregards education. It has definitely made my life an ugly hell of sorts.

I believe that one should always strive to do the right thing not only by yourself but by others as well.

I believe in standing up for what you believe in.

I believe that some things should be kept to oneself.

I believe that social mores were "all but destroyed when casual friday was introduced to the work place."

I believe that you should always follow your dreams.

I believe in personal responsibility.

I believe in the American dream.

I believe that giving up is not an option: For me anyway.

I believe that you can never judge a book by its cover--Literally or metaphorically.

I believe that models should be really skinny.

I believe in treating people as you wish to be treated.

I believe that everyone is fallible.

I believe in fidelity or at least in trying.

I believe in equality or at least a level playing feild.

I believe that one day there will be a world without racism, hatred and bigotry.

Yes, I do believe in miracles and in G-d.

Happy Hanukkah.

Lady's Choice

2007-11-28T13:11:00.000-08:00

Si j'ai eu le choix j'aurais choisi un notre.

I make everyone around us think that you're the best thing since sliced bread. I admit that I'm selfish and it's for my sake that I do this and not yours.

You disappoint and embarrass me because your drinking and drugging has become way too much to bear. Moreover, it’s really an ugly thing to watch. Your eyes no longer dance and your skin looks dull.

I've attempted to be a good friend to you and it seems as if I've failed once again. Perhaps you listened too closely when I said that you were brilliantly fabulous and you missed the other more important bits that followed the but.

Well... At least I've tried to be a good friend, which is more than I can say for...

No, I won't argue about who's been the better friend to whom.

I guess...I just want to say...

What I'm trying to say is...

"I'm sorry, I'm in your way."

If only I had a better selection to choose from...

Oh, but I still love you... for now, anyway.

Rose Colored Glasses

2007-11-20T11:33:00.000-08:00

My rose colored glasses were smashed by a very tall fat jewish man at the Four Seasons Los Angeles while I was enjoying cocktails at the bar with a friend. He was nearly as wide as he was tall and somehow connected to the entertainment business.

My second pair... Because I always carried a spare have been scratched during the years beyond repair.

All that time in Marrakech, Paris, Chicago, New York and they lasted--Although I did come close to loosing them in Chicago after a deluge of sorts.

They just don't make things the way they used to.

L.A. can really be tough on the eyes and the soul for that matter.

I miss my glasses from time to time but I guess for now, my oversized Lavin wayfarers will just have to do.

Besides I'm a grown up now and the Lanvin may be a bit more becoming.

The Marvelous Miss Malkavich

94 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall

2007-11-18T19:27:00.000-08:00

I deleted a number from my Judith Leiberman like Sidekick today while perusing the aisles at Ralph’s on 3rd and Labrea. It was the number of a friend that had been thoughtfully disgarded. I’m on the fence as to the length of the deletion or its permanence only because I'm attempting to be an adult about the situation.

I made the startling realization that this woman and myself were at two totally different ends of the spectrum in our beliefs and morals as well as our ability or inability to understand one another.

Far be it for me to say or think for that matter that I am the more empathetic one amongst us but --Yes The Big But... But I realized that with this woman I am always wrong.

Is it really possible for one person to be wrong 100% of the time?

"She" (my friend of sorts) doesn’t actually come out exactly and tell me that I'm wrong but she can never seems to agree with me or understand my point of view no matter how I put it. Therefore if I’m upset about something and I happen to share it with her as friends often share experiences, I’m always the one that needs to “get over it”, “ forget about it” or should just "Be Happy”.

I have tried to understand why people act and say some of the things they do. I have tried to become less reactive which is still a work in progress. I'm not saying that this makes me a better person but I do try earnestly and purposefully to make a full-hearted attempt at being a good person. Not that understanding makes me a good person but I treat people as I wish to be treated besides that I am compulsively drawn to doing the right thing.

Often times than not, I fail by missing the mark completely or the mistake that I seem to make all too often is that I expect that my efforts should mean something to people. And I’m naturally hurt when they don’t. But at least I try to understand and I'm the first to admit when I’m limited.

I'm also trying to understand that her point of view may be coming from her own limitations and unwillingness to face certain truths of reality.

"She" has a very subtle way of taking this moral high ground place of superiority were she sits passing judgment on the fallible ones like myself seemingly because she watches Oprah, does yoga, drives a hybrid mini-van, recycles and has a toddler in private school. Or maybe it's just because she goes to church on Sundays.

I don’t peddle my Scientology/Jesus, just Love/Ignore and everything is right in the world diatribe. Well, perhaps that would be because I’m jewish and I tend to say what’s on my mind although not so much these days. Or maybe even, it’s just not my way.

However, I never judged her when she had a child out of wedlock let alone two. Despite the very strong opinions that I have I never once told her that I agreed with her mother. Although for her sake, I'm happy it all appears to have worked out.

At least I care enough to make an attempt at understanding. Which is more than I can say from someone that I thought was my friend.

Still, somewhere in my heart after our conversation today, I felt that she might have had a point.
Then again, I do try too hard... Sometimes.

The Marvelous Miss Malkavich

A Day With Roxxie

2007-11-12T12:50:00.000-08:00

Roxxanna reminds me of a little bear

Funny... I usually like bears

Le Chat

2007-06-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Il y a une fois un chat qui me suis

et il aime quand je lui dis oui

Mais ça me fait mal parce ce que

quand je lui dis oui, il fait le pipi

Ah...la tristesse que je sens tout le temps.

Alors! Je lui dis si!

J'ai découvert qu'il est un chat espagnol.

GI/CC

It's Not Personal

2006-08-23T23:30:00.000-07:00

The common and convenient catch phrase of the "Haves" ( those in a position of having power however minute) at my job seems to be..."Oh, it's not personal... Don't take it personally".

Yeah, but when people are fuckin' with your Franklins --What can be more personal?

Besides, it's only your livelihood.

No, it's not personal. It's just plain wrong.

Myspace and "Me"

2006-08-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

There have been a few people that wanted to meet me from myspace and they wondered which picture in my profile was mine. No big deal, I love meeting new people especially fellow artists.

I never cared to label my picture as "Me" because... I'm not sure why... although maybe it was because deep down inside I was afraid of being rejected.

With my writing especially I want people to grasps the content of who I am as a person through my mind and not to care what I look like.

When I informed my inquirers as to which I was, they most all mysteriously went away. Which is strange that they seemed to find me more interesting before they knew what I looked like or so it appeared. They were all men; Not to male bash but what am I to think?

I don't know why but I seem to scare people. I always have and perhaps always will. Perhaps scare is too strong of a word... I don't put people at ease and for some strange reason.

Looking at it this way does gives me a bit of solace..."these people probably did me a favor because if you're afraid from just my picture then be very afraid". Besides that I absolutely abhor cowards.

I'm tall, opinionated--I've been told sadly since I was a little girl that I was intimidating. Playing stupid and small so people would like me better and to put them more at ease didn't make me the successful, most well liked person that I thought that it would. It was at near detriment to myself esteem, so I stopped. Although I think it did make me a better actress, definitely I'm a stronger person because of it. I drive a muscle car and in addition to that I'm with the wonderful Mick Dixon anyway.

I'm a really cool person who's worth knowing but it still hurts. It's a slow burn of a hurt that really bugs me deep down inside.

Life is funny...
It has a way of ultimately bring us to the thing we are most trying to avoid.
It's that way for me, anyway.

Beauty is so much more than skin deep.

--Like the phoenix from the flame I shall rise again with a new skin.

"Another Pallywood Production"

2006-08-05T22:48:00.000-07:00

Pallywood: Definition- refers to the staging of scenes by Palestinian journalists in order to present the Palestinians as hapless victims of Israeli aggression. Often times using equipment from Western news agencies, and that the resulting footage is sent on to those agencies for international consumption.

Cecilem Bibbi Hezbollah "I want tight close ups on all injured women and children.

Rolling Sound--Action!"

A Little Help From A Friend

2006-08-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

This is an email that I received from one of our loyal readers that never leaves comments but who doesn't hesitate to ask us for help.

Oh hell, we love you anyway.

I get a little touchy when it comes to people in the service industry not being treated right because without them we'd all be in a cafeteria queue.

Hi Elbib,

I really enjoy your blog and I'm happy to see
that you went off and did your own thing successfully.
> I was wondering if you could do a fave: I encountered a
> > disturbing add on craigslist LA
> http://losangeles.craigslist.org/ret/138397854.html.
> A lot of us are out here in LA doing our thing and
> > unfortunately slinging drinks and serving food in the meantime. The last thing we need is a bunch of
> little narc bitches coming in and fucking with our jobs.
> Can you light these people up with a little phone/email traffic?? You are a public service god/goddess!!!!
> > Thank you
> >
> > Address:
> > EyeSpy Critiquing and Consulting
> > 15466 Los Gatos Suite 109
> > Los Gatos, CA 95032
> > Phone:
> > 888.339.3779 / 408.292.1612
> > Fax:
> > 408.295.4627
> > E-mail:
> > info@theeyespy.com
> > Tech Support: techsupport@theeyespy.com
> >

My Darling Theyskens

2006-07-31T21:23:00.000-07:00

Theyskens, the darling of fashion forward stylists and a certain sort of retailer, was one of 30 Rochas staff informed last week that they would be getting pink slips.

Oh, I know; How awful... and just to think the news came as a major surprise given that this spring Theyskens, 29, was awarded International Designer of the Year by the CFDA, American fashion's governing body.

However, after several years of losses, Procter and Gamble pulled the plug on Rochas despite all the critical kudos. P and G, which will continue producing the Rochas fragrances it inherited when it acquired Wella's beauty portfolio in 2003, clearly does not consider fashion an essential area for growth.

"After four years of support, Procter and Gamble plans to stop its investment… in this company which is not part of our core business," P and G said in a statement. Yeah, what do they know, they sell toilet paper.

Rochas hired Theyskens as artistic director in November 2001. The designer with the Gothic looks first gained recognition for the outfit he designed for Madonna for the 1998 Oscars.

Theyskens was briefly courted by LVMH boss Bernard Arnault for the position of couturier at Givenchy, a job that eventually went to Julien Macdonald.

"Olivier Theyskens is now free to do whatever he wants. There is no restriction on him relaunching his own label," a P and G spokesman told FWD.

On joining Rochas, Theyskens stopped his eponymous collection amid reports of tension between the designer and his backer, Belgian lawyer Isabelle Stevens.

Speculation in Paris is that Theyskens will reignite his own label, though whether it is with Stevens remains to be seen.

Stevens, who held a majority interest in Theyskens name, did not return calls to her offices in Belgium and San Marino. Theyskens was unavailable for comment.

P and G inherited the Rochas fashion and fragrance divisions in its $6.9 billion acquisition of Wella's portfolio, which also included the Anna Sui, Montblanc, Escada and Gucci fragrances, though Rochas was the sole fashion holding.

The multinational stressed that, looking ahead, it would consider possible other solutions for Rochas, and underlined that it would continue Rochas licensing business. P and G apparently offered as a license the Rochas fashion business, but was greeted only by requests to buy both the Rochas fashion and fragrance brands together.

Moreover, recent history is littered with fashion houses unsuccessfully managed by far bigger beauty companies. L'Oreal sold off its Lanvin fashion holding and Groupe Clarins reined in the Thierry Mugler fashion brand even as its scents sales boomed.

Closing down even a medium-sized business takes several months under French labor law and the Rochas fashion division won't be fully closed until October.

Retailers expect Rochas fall/winter ready-to-wear collection to be shipped, and are holding out hope that Theyskens' last ideas for Rochas would become collectors' items.

Theyskens' shows for Rochas were consistently packed out events during Paris fashion week. When he joined Rochas four years ago, he was already a critically acclaimed young designer with a distinctive voice.

However, the failure of Theyskens and Rochas to build a substantial accessories business for ultimately doomed a business better known for wildly expensive gowns that reached as high as $35,000 at retail.

You're telling me- I couldn't never get a pair of shoes that were my size or that fit right. Well, maybe next time, Olivier.
Best wishes for the future.

Tales From The Dark Side Of Entourage

2006-07-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

Can you say...OVER IT! Well, at least we wrapped early. People really should be nicer to poor Naomi because I nearly shoved and slapped someone myself.

"Damn, where did I put my Blackberry?"

Who am I kidding?..."SOMEONE"..."There were several people."

And please, "Ladies", please wear at least a thong with your $44.00 tissue thin party dresses from Image. Yes, I'm especially talking to you, "Miss Saved Pussy, Nicole Kidman Wannabe" from "Down Under". If, your accent was in fact, real.

Yes, this is Hollywood; where everything goes but that was obscene.

Goodness, that set was like The Beverly Center exploded after a crystal meth fire and only the well seasoned crack whores survived because they had an exit strategy, besides from them being the ones that set it in the first place.

I'm not violent, really...I'm not...I'm honest, as well as depressed.

Where have all of the fabulous people gone and why are my dreams always smashed by the horrible reality of it all.

Wow, that was a very Carrie Bradshaw statement.

I smell Aussie twat.

Yew hew, ooh...Wardrobe Mistress!

Perspective

2006-06-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

I've been dying for validation from a career that doesn't seem to want me as much as I want it.

First it was one and then another.

What have you been dying for?

In Memoriam Of A Former Self

2006-05-30T02:45:00.000-07:00

I've been known to hold a grudge. I don't know why. It's not that I purposely do it but things, especially negative things have a way of resting with me. It's sad because I've found that I have the ability to hate other human beings. Something, I didn't know was possible. I've always tried to be a loving, understanding and kind person but I've never quite felt as strongly about people or situations as I do now.

Perhaps, it's getting older maybe it's just knowing more but over the last few days I've been thinking of a certain situation that happened last week. Oddly enough on my birthday: a hell of a day to learn compassion and how to cry for others.

So here I am, ten minutes and a blog draft ago, find myself making a mental list of sorts and thinking... "Wow, I really fucking hate Joan... 2) for two years I have abhorred but tolerated Jamie Lynn (her very name should provide some insight, well no it doesn't... However, saying "Trailer Park" does). Plus it bothers the hell out of her that I have never seen one. 3) and as of late... I'm not too crazy about Keifer." Actually, I'm feeling a little sorry for the latter.

Oh hell, I feel sorry for Joan too. Her very handsome 32 year old son, the "not so" recovering addict but "Manic Depressive" as she calls his affliction (or anyone who doesn't agree with her, for that matter), has lost another job and she wonders why he's such a scrub. He's just had a second child ( a little girl ), when he neglects emotionally and financially his three year old son.

Joan, doesn't understand that all that he is or is not, is in a great part because of her. She's told him all of his life that as a black man he will never get ahead nor have anything of value, he will always be considered less than because of his skin color and that it's a "white man's world" and that his place in it will always be one of oppression. She has filled his head with the same old blah, blah, stereotypical bullshit that has plagued the belief system of blacks for years. Who can win with those odds but somehow, someway he is to champion the opponent and win the race. It's sad that somehow she thinks that's love.

And if that isn't bad enough she doesn't read well. She's nearly 60, perhaps older. I can't keep up anymore. She's already celebrated her 57th birthday a few times since I've known her. She says it's her eyes but I'm starting to suspect otherwise. I'm guessing that she probably has a sixth grade education at best. I might add, from Jamaica. Just the thought of the Jamaican school system with upwards of 50 students to a class makes me cringe. Her only saving grace is that she married well. I guess the second time was a charm.

Knowing all of that or at least being aware of the bigger picture only makes it worse for me because I still can't find it in my heart to forgive her.

It makes me wonder, what kind of beast am I? Has my once seemingly overflowing well of benevolence run dry?

I don't know...But one thing's for sure...

I fucking hate ignorant people and I especially hate ignorant people that tell me what I can't accomplish because of my national origin or skin color. I loath, people who judge me or think they know me or others because of it. I might add somewhere in there that these people will often give their opinion without it, being solicited.

People who make sweeping statements suck ass. BIG TIME!

G-d grant me the serenity...

I am no longer a prisoner of my past—past regrets, earlier traumas, pain and suffering.

I believe in miracles and a joy-filled future.

I believe in myself.

I gain the courage to let go!

I let go.

Of everything.

Period.

Snap Attack

2006-05-26T13:49:00.000-07:00

Kate Moss is back and apparently kicking asses and taking names.
Of the paparazzi that is...

Oh My G-D, I Think I Scared Her

2006-05-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me, you know that I have been for sometime looking for an editor for my novel. I stumbled across, Jennifer Garrett Who Writes For A Living and who also to some extent works for Blogger. She is a self-professed "Complete Anal-Pile" when it comes to the written word. She stresses punctuation, punctuation, punctuation. So much so that supposably, she polices blogs by emailing the blogger about their bad grammar, punctuation and so-forth.

I recently e-mailed her. Not about her grammar police tactics but because I need an editor. Needless to say, I haven't heard back-from her which might be a good thing because personally, I didn't find her writing that, interesting or exciting.

I must say that I like reading blogs that aren't grammatically perfect and have too many ellipses. At least you have something interesting to say. Which is more than important than having nothing to say but saying it grammatically perfect. To all my blogging brethren... Keep using your ellipses, never be boring and remember that those who can "Do" those who "Can't" criticize.

And if you get an email telling you of your misuse of the english language invite them to kiss your... "Dita Von Teese is fabulous".

And with out further ado my email to Ms. Garrett.

Hi Jennifer,

First, I'd like to say that I am very intimidated by writing to you because I know that my grammar is being torn apart from the seams as your eyes glide across this email.

But, oh well. At least I didn't use ellipses. Whew.

My question is how can writers find their voices if we get hung up on correct punctuation? How can we correctly use punctuation to express sudden changes in thought, to contradict ourselves if and when we are writing stream of consciousness stuff?

I too have a grade school writing experience that was the antithesis of yours. Unlike, you I didn't win my writing contest. I was traumatized by my 3rd Grade teacher Mrs. Pounds’ blaring red pen across all of my words. There were so many mistakes on that piece of paper. It’s a wonder I didn't get a failing grade. I got a B- because she liked what I wrote.

It may sound silly but that stopped me from writing for a long time which I always enjoyed doing. It was probably because I was perplexed by the countless red marks and having written an enjoyable story and not doing it correctly. Now when I write I get so caught up in the punctuation that it's painful and I forget what it is that I’m trying to say.

Blogging breathed new life into me. I try to be a responsible blogger watching both my grammar and punctuation but if I followed all the rules then how am I expressing myself? Where does it all end and a voice and one’s story begin? I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter. I like your writing style. I’m still mulling over mine.

Thanks for your time,

G.G.

The Bitch Is Back

2006-05-17T01:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, after a short, by short I mean a 27 hr, much needed respite from a certain said "purple shirt", I'm feeling a little bit better. Or am I really? Perhaps, my Alexander McQueen Scarf tied nicely in a bow around my neck ( It's actually two scarves but who's counting... I like big bows ) and my most favorite pair of Helmut Lang boots have only been a temporary salve for the mal-contentful rage against mankind or at least one restaurant in Beverly Hills. I'M F@*KING FABULOUS and my tibia hurts! Why G-D! Why!

Star's Transformation

2006-05-15T00:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Gallery Of The Absurd.

Photo Opportunity

2006-05-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

Oh, goodness don't get me started again... But why, oh why in G-d's name is he carrying a Mexican flag?

After the shit, Ryan Gosling pulled with me at the Four Seasons I had my doubts about his intelligence level and I seriously questioned this seemingly desperate need of his to identify with certain ethnic groups. It has now passed the point of scary.

Perhaps at some deep level he feels that he lacks a culture of his own. I dunno know, but Rachel McAdams... I now see that I gave her too much credit. See My blog entitled Beached Whale Anyone? ( In the February archives )

Well, onward with my rant!

They both should be grateful that they are in this country and that
they are able to do what the do and are making great money to
boot because American movie fans have made them popular.

I know lots of talented and highly trained American actors who can't catch a break or get a decent agent for that matter and would love the opportunity to do, what they do but Nooooo...

Rachel and Ryan are very lucky, blessed, even.

If they feel so strongly against immigration reform then, Gooooo...

Don't make me say it, "People".

By the way, what's Canada's policies on immigration?

What people don't know is that immigration policies are far more
strict in other countries than here. Sorry, but it's time for reform.

Besides, Americans are not afforded the same luxuries in other
countries that immigrants are given here.

Working in America is not something that foreigners are entitled
to. It is a privilege.

Will, somebody "please" tell Russell Crow that the next time he has, a "little rage fit" and wants to knock someone in the head with a phone, he should be dragged out in chains, put on the next plane to New Zealand and never be allowed to work here again. Assault is after-all a felony.

For the illegals put the time in, do it legally and earn it.

Rachel and What's-his-face should sit their asses down and Say Thanks America!

Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Perhaps, if some people suffered a little more for their craft, they'd know the meaning of gratitude.

Supercilious

2006-05-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

If someone gives you something it means that they have taken the time to think of you. It seems that some people in LA are thought of too often even if they are the ones thinking of themselves.
"It's the thought that counts"...I see, "works two ways."
Self-importance is such a nasty little condition.

A word of wisdom to the vainglory foolhardy...Today's nobody is tomorrow's Oscar winning somebody that could give you a job.
Just say thank you.

Moliere

2006-04-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.

-- Moliere

Ok, I've already written something for a few people. Close friends? Yeeeaaah maaybe, not really. Well, I don't know.

Oh, who am I kidding.

I'm a writer whore or at least that's what I aspire to be for the moment.

A Big Phat Writer Whore! There's always something else to buy.

What's This About Again?

2006-04-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

ref·u·gee n. One who flees in search of refuge, as in times of war, political oppression, or religious persecution.

im·mi·grant n. A person who leaves one country to settle permanently in another.

Clearly, not the same word nor definition.

slave n. A person held in servitude as the chattel of another.

A word altogether different from the above mentioned.

Don't talk to me about immigration protests. Please!

I am being held hostage in my own city and I am about to lose it.

Okay, for those of you who know me..."Yes, I'm held up in my huge loft with ridiculously high ceilings and beautiful white walls with my chihuahuas but I'm still suffering."

"People" give me a reason to support you and perhaps I will. But remember that the very freedoms we all enjoy were paid for us in blood, sweat and a whole river of tears by generations past. So put down the Mexican banderas and pick up an American flag and be happy that you're here. And for goodness sakes leave Che Guevara out of this! Is it a Revolution, you want? What then? Who is oppressing you? Do You Know? Is this worse than your country? And if so how?

I may have to agree with the "You Know Who" on this one but "Sorry Kids" to the end of the line you'll have to go. If that doesn't suit you then leaving is always an option.

Oooo, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!

But at least that is an option for you. Unlike many Black- Americans ancestors' who were stolen from their homelands in Africa and brought here on boats and were traded and sold as live goods. And that's putting it lightly.

All I can say is that if this is still going on, by May 11th when Christian Louboutin will be at Barney's New York doing custom designs on his canvas platform espadrilles and if I have a difficult time getting to Barney's and G-D forbid, I miss him.
I am Going To Throw A Full ON SHIT FIT Like The World Has Never Seen!

In parting, I will leave you with a Civil Rights Time- Line. And in reading it, please remember the Irish, Italians, Japanese, Chinese, and the countless others who also have put in the time to make this country great.

If there is a group that should be marching it should be the Native Americans. Need I mention that it was their land in the first place. America is their home and immigrants now have it far better than them.

Now, what's this about want again?

One Last thing, click the link and find out what Mis Hermanos Y Hermanas ( mi gente verdad) , Los Cubanos think about this same issue. If you haven't guessed it by now, I am Cuban American or an American of Cuban decent if you prefer not just another black chick as I've been referred to as being. Oh, the dismal abyss of ignorance.

F.Y.I. Cubans were put in Detention Centers while they waited for their immigration affairs to be sorted out.

Muy interesante pero al fin, VIVA Los Estados Unidos! ( Long! Live ! AMERICA! ) ... with all my heart I love this country, the people just Suck sometimes.

Civil Rights Timeline
Milestones In The Modern Civil Rights Movement
by Borgna Brunner and Elissa Haney

1954

May 17
The Supreme Court rules on the landmark case Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kans., unanimously agreeing that segregation in public schools is unconstitutional. The ruling paves the way for large-scale desegregation. The decision overturns the 1896 Plessy v. Ferguson ruling that sanctioned "separate but equal" segregation of the races, ruling that "separate educational facilities are inherently unequal." It is a victory for NAACP attorney Thurgood Marshall, who will later return to the Supreme Court as the nation's first black justice.

1955

Aug.
Fourteen-year-old Chicagoan Emmett Till is visiting family in Mississippi when he is kidnapped, brutally beaten, shot, and dumped in the Tallahatchie River for allegedly whistling at a white woman. Two white men, J. W. Milam and Roy Bryant, are arrested for the murder and acquitted by an all-white jury. They later boast about committing the murder in a Look magazine interview. The case becomes a cause célèbre of the civil rights movement.

Dec. 1
(Montgomery, Ala.) NAACP member Rosa Parks refuses to give up her seat at the front of the "colored section" of a bus to a white passenger, defying a southern custom of the time. In response to her arrest the Montgomery black community launches a bus boycott, which will last for more than a year, until the buses are desegregated Dec. 21, 1956. As newly elected president of the Montgomery Improvement Association (MIA), Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., is instrumental in leading the boycott.

1957
Jan.–Feb.
Martin Luther King, Charles K. Steele, and Fred L. Shuttlesworth establish the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, of which King is made the first president. The SCLC becomes a major force in organizing the civil rights movement and bases its principles on nonviolence and civil disobedience. According to King, it is essential that the civil rights movement not sink to the level of the racists and hatemongers who oppose them: "We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline," he urges.

Sept.
(Little Rock, Ark.) Formerly all-white Central High School learns that integration is easier said than done. Nine black students are blocked from entering the school on the orders of Governor Orval Faubus. President Eisenhower sends federal troops and the National Guard to intervene on behalf of the students, who become known as the "Little Rock Nine."
1960

Feb. 1
(Greensboro, N.C.) Four black students from North Carolina Agricultural and Technical College begin a sit-in at a segregated Woolworth's lunch counter. Although they are refused service, they are allowed to stay at the counter. The event triggers many similar nonviolent protests throughout the South. Six months later the original four protesters are served lunch at the same Woolworth's counter. Student sit-ins would be effective throughout the Deep South in integrating parks, swimming pools, theaters, libraries, and other public facilities.

April
(Raleigh, N.C.) The Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) is founded at Shaw University, providing young blacks with a place in the civil rights movement. The SNCC later grows into a more radical organization, especially under the leadership of Stokely Carmichael (1966–1967).

1961

May 4
The Congress of Racial Equality (CORE) begins sending student volunteers on bus trips to test the implementation of new laws prohibiting segregation in interstate travel facilities. One of the first two groups of "freedom riders," as they are called, encounters its first problem two weeks later, when a mob in Alabama sets the riders' bus on fire. The program continues, and by the end of the summer 1,000 volunteers, black and white, have participated.

Oct. 1
James Meredith becomes the first black student to enroll at the University of Mississippi. Violence and riots surrounding the incident cause President Kennedy to send 5,000 federal troops.

1963

April 16
Martin Luther King is arrested and jailed during anti-segregation protests in Birmingham, Ala.; he writes his seminal "Letter from Birmingham Jail," arguing that individuals have the moral duty to disobey unjust laws.

May
During civil rights protests in Birmingham, Ala., Commissioner of Public Safety Eugene "Bull" Connor uses fire hoses and police dogs on black demonstrators. These images of brutality, which are televised and published widely, are instrumental in gaining sympathy for the civil rights movement around the world.

June 12
(Jackson, Miss.) Mississippi's NAACP field secretary, 37-year-old Medgar Evers, is murdered outside his home. Byron De La Beckwith is tried twice in 1964, both trials resulting in hung juries. Thirty years later he is convicted for murdering Evers.

Aug. 28
(Washington, D.C.) About 200,000 people join the March on Washington. Congregating at the Lincoln Memorial, participants listen as Martin Luther King delivers his famous "I Have a Dream" speech.

Sept. 15
(Birmingham, Ala.) Four young girls (Denise McNair, Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson, and Addie Mae Collins) attending Sunday school are killed when a bomb explodes at the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church, a popular location for civil rights meetings. Riots erupt in Birmingham, leading to the deaths of two more black youths.

1964

Jan. 23
The 24th Amendment abolishes the poll tax, which originally had been instituted in 11 southern states after Reconstruction to make it difficult for poor blacks to vote.

Summer
The Council of Federated Organizations (COFO), a network of civil rights groups that includes CORE and SNCC, launches a massive effort to register black voters during what becomes known as the Freedom Summer. It also sends delegates to the Democratic National Convention to protest—and attempt to unseat—the official all-white Mississippi contingent.

July 2
President Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The most sweeping civil rights legislation since Reconstruction, the Civil Rights Act prohibits discrimination of all kinds based on race, color, religion, or national origin. The law also provides the federal government with the powers to enforce desegregation.

Aug. 4
(Neshoba Country, Miss.) The bodies of three civil-rights workers—two white, one black—are found in an earthen dam, six weeks into a federal investigation backed by President Johnson. James E. Chaney, 21; Andrew Goodman, 21; and Michael Schwerner, 24, had been working to register black voters in Mississippi, and, on June 21, had gone to investigate the burning of a black church. They were arrested by the police on speeding charges, incarcerated for several hours, and then released after dark into the hands of the Ku Klux Klan, who murdered them.

1965

Feb. 21
(Harlem, N.Y.) Malcolm X, black nationalist and founder of the Organization of Afro-American Unity, is shot to death. It is believed the assailants are members of the Black Muslim faith, which Malcolm had recently abandoned in favor of orthodox Islam.

March 7
(Selma, Ala.) Blacks begin a march to Montgomery in support of voting rights but are stopped at the Pettus Bridge by a police blockade. Fifty marchers are hospitalized after police use tear gas, whips, and clubs against them. The incident is dubbed "Bloody Sunday" by the media. The march is considered the catalyst for pushing through the voting rights act five months later.

Aug. 10
Congress passes the Voting Rights Act of 1965, making it easier for Southern blacks to register to vote. Literacy tests, poll taxes, and other such requirements that were used to restrict black voting are made illegal.

Aug. 11–17, 1965
(Watts, Calif.) Race riots erupt in a black section of Los Angeles.

Sept. 24, 1965
Asserting that civil rights laws alone are not enough to remedy discrimination, President Johnson issues Executive Order 11246, which enforces affirmative action for the first time. It requires government contractors to "take affirmative action"

1966

Oct.
(Oakland, Calif.) The militant Black Panthers are founded by Huey Newton and Bobby Seale.

1967
April 19
Stokely Carmichael, a leader of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), coins the phrase "black power" in a speech in Seattle. He defines it as an assertion of black pride and "the coming together of black people to fight for their liberation by any means necessary." The term's radicalism alarms many who believe the civil rights movement's effectiveness and moral authority crucially depend on nonviolent civil disobedience.

June 12
In Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court rules that prohibiting interracial marriage is unconstitutional. Sixteen states that still banned interracial marriage at the time are forced to revise their laws.

July
Major race riots take place in Newark (July 12–16) and Detroit (July 23–30).

1968
April 4
(Memphis, Tenn.) Martin Luther King, at age 39, is shot as he stands on the balcony outside his hotel room. Escaped convict and committed racist James Earl Ray is convicted of the crime.

April 11
President Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1968, prohibiting discrimination in the sale, rental, and financing of housing.

1971

April 20
The Supreme Court, in Swann v. Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education, upholds busing as a legitimate means for achieving integration of public schools. Although largely unwelcome (and sometimes violently opposed) in local school districts, court-ordered busing plans in cities such as Charlotte, Boston, and Denver continue until the late 1990s.

1988

March 22
Overriding President Reagan's veto, Congress passes the Civil Rights Restoration Act, which expands the reach of non-discrimination laws within private institutions receiving federal funds.

1991

Nov. 22
After two years of debates, vetoes, and threatened vetoes, President Bush reverses himself and signs the Civil Rights Act of 1991, strengthening existing civil rights laws and providing for damages in cases of intentional employment discrimination.

1992

April 29
(Los Angeles, Calif.) The first race riots in decades erupt in south-central Los Angeles after a jury acquits four white police officers for the videotaped beating of African American Rodney King.

2003

June 23
In the most important affirmative action decision since the 1978 Bakke case, the Supreme Court (5–4) upholds the University of Michigan Law School's policy, ruling that race can be one of many factors considered by colleges when selecting their students because it furthers "a compelling interest in obtaining the educational benefits that flow from a diverse student body."

2005

June 21
The ringleader of the Mississippi civil rights murders (see Aug. 4, 1964), Edgar Ray Killen, is convicted of manslaughter on the 41st anniversary of the crimes.

NOW THAT'S A LONG TIME!

Advice...an excerpt

2006-04-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

(Disarming and sweetly speaking)

Thanks. The coffee's great. Sumatra.

Oh, Kenya... hmmm, tastes like Sumatra.

Well, I think it's adorable the way he looks at you with those big brown longing puppy dog eyes. If he had a tail he'd be wagging it for sure. He breathes a sigh of devotion for you at the very mention of your name. It's so courageous, valiant even the way he confesses his unrequited love for you.

Why not give him a chance?

After-all, you're forty four. Excuse me 40-something and truthfully, I don't see a line in front of your door.

Oh there's the cat.

I know how it must feel being his second choice and all. He's shorter than you and he has a baby; he might be married...(rolling eyes back in thought) hummn.

Look at it this way...He's a man, he's cute ( he likes his car a bit to much for my taste), he has a job with benefits and he's interested in you.

No Love

2006-04-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

You can't appreciate me, my beauty or my intellect.
You only see what you want to see and that is a second-class no body
who's no better than you.

Isn't It Lovely

2006-04-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

Just in time for Passover and the Easter Holiday "Tom Cruise Tosses The Shackles Of Hollywood Oppression" and he coming to get us all, the non-scientologists of course. Let's all watch as he screams and runs ( he like to run) on about Katie, psychiatry, sex, space aliens, and more...
Tom's a sick puppy. Let's poke him with a stick.

On Occasion

2006-04-10T01:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes...I just get so frustrated.

The Freaks Come Out At Nite

2006-04-08T05:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night I bore witness to a nasty and unsettling event at a restaurant were a food-server was verbally abused and shoved by a very ugly and very skinny woman with big bulging eyes, stringy dark hair, bad pale leather skin and dingy teeth with a horrible underbite. The woman wore a cheap strapless flower print dress, with gold plastic strappy shoes and had a bad fake tit job that coincidentally was like her bad fake Chanel purse in quality which may have been a great part of her rageful angst.

This Bone Of A Dog really thought she was soooooo sexy, hot and good-looking or perhaps she was just pretending. Her father probably told her that she was the best thing since sliced bread all of her life but sadly no one else ever did nor will because "Fabulous Is As Fabulous Does And Always Will" as "The fashion Rabbi" says. Tragically, It was latter reveled that the Jerky Tartlet had an eating disorder.

"Ladies" I can't stress this enough... but before I get to it, I want to let you know that I do feel greatly for those of you with this problem... I really do but... what you chose to tickle with your finger wether it be your twat or the back of your throat is really your own private affair and really should be kept in the bedroom, bathroom or psychiatrist's office.

It shouldn't be brought to the restaurant on Friday night albeit even if it is for a family function.

"Ladies" and if your dirty little secret is known by the rest of your family, "Change Your MO".

It's really sad when your mother has to announce to everyone at the table and to the entire restaurant what your mental state of being is because she is trying to save face from your embarrassing tirade that you seem to do every time you have to eat in public about the server being stupid and not getting your order right and giving you bad service.

"Skinny Rabbit" if you change your order an average of 7 times and only 3 courses are being served, 2 of the 3 courses are a choice of 2 items, neither of which you want, something is bound to come out wrong.

Do the math because "Tricks Really Are For Kids".

You Don't Want To Eat So You Blame The Person Serving You The Food.

What happened to the good ole' days were if you had to eat in public you'd take a whole sheet of ex-lax and afterwards you'd let'er rip?

Eating disorders are so passe I had a few back-in the 90's myself before they became so dunno... LaLohan.

...And if you're nearly 50 as Bone-A -Linga looked shouldn't you be past that anyway?

I have nothing against 50 year-olds.

Pills are in now. CLUE PHONE for Bone-A-Whatsgonewrongnow... Take one!

I'll part leaving you with this word quandary... if Bone-A-Linga's a Stupid Bitch then what would you call a late 40-something, wire mouth piece of... ( I'm watching my mouth Rabbi )...who makes sweeping statements about ... well... let just say all G-d's creatures ?

Okay a little more info...Bumpkin's favorite pastime is watching the Tele.

Aaaaaaahhhhh, the power of words.

About Me...

2006-04-03T21:00:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked by a strange, unattractive man who I was...After I threw my champagne in his face (it was corked anyway) and The Fashion Rabbi gave him a swift kick, that got me to thinking.

Who am I...really? This is what I came up with...

*ALL ABOUT ME*
Name:	Elbib Dratsab
Birthday:	May 19
Birthplace:	Hemmingway's favorite place
Current Location:	Los Angeles
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Lately Auburn and not sure how I feel about it
Height:	5' 10"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Cuban/ French Moroccan/ Turkish
The Shoes You Wore Today:	A pair of Lanvin flats
Your Weakness:	Laziness
Your Fears:	Failure, dying penniless and alone
Your Perfect Pizza:	Crispy crust,spinach, lots of garlic and soy cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Finish my screenplay, start shooting it and rewrite my novel
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	I Love You
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Uggggh...
Your Best Physical Feature:	My eyes
Your Bedtime:	Around 2am
Your Most Missed Memory:	I don't dream as much as I used too
Pepsi or Coke:	Diet
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Neither
Single or Group Dates:	Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Le Palais Des Thes
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Espresso
Do you Smoke:	I have asthma
Do you Swear:	In four languages
Do you Sing:	I can prepare a song
Do you Shower Daily:	I can't remember...
Have you Been in Love:	Yes
Do you want to go to College:	Been there done that...
Do you want to get Married:	Yes
Do you belive in yourself:	Not always
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Sometimes when a certain someone is driving...Mickhuda Berg
Do you think you are Attractive:	Yes
Are you a Health Freak:	No
Do you get along with your Parents:	Sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	I hate them
Do you play an Instrument:	Yes, The Cowbell, I own A Horachio Hernadez
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Champagne...Of Course...
In the past month have you Smoked:	No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	I wish...
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Yes
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Everyday, I live in LA
In the past month have you been Dumped:	My chihuahua often ignores me
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	I like to pee in the water
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Yes a book. Oh no, that was last month. Sorry.
Ever been Drunk:	Unfortunatly
Ever been called a Tease:	I've been called vain
Ever been Beaten up:	I've had my ass handed to me more times than I'd like to admit
Ever Shoplifted:	Yes
How do you want to Die:	Not in my car
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	A person who is financially comfortable
What country would you most like to Visit:	Israel

Number of Drugs I have taken:	Three
Number of CDs I own:	Many
Number of Piercings:	Two
Number of Tattoos:	One
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	I regret nothing

O-NO...

2006-03-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

I made the prediction early on when J-Lo was in Italy at the Dolce & Gabanna Fall 2006 Ready-To-Wear Show last month in Milan. It's was like I could look at her and tell what was on her mind. I knew it was going to happen and so it has..

Miss Cleo Calling!

The Sophia Loren/ Jennifer Lopez comparison.

Jennifer Lopez will never be like Sophia Loren, that would take sophistication and for one to be unassuming. Traits Ms. Lopez is defiantly lacking.

I really wish she would take those darned elocution lessons like I suggested because her speech is less than desirable and she keeps talking because someone must have told her that she was smart. Ahhhhhaww... It must have been P-What's His Name Now.

Oh, But Don't Fret My JLo Pet "The Fashion Rab" Can Squeeze You In For A Lesson.

Oops She Did It Again...

2006-03-30T09:49:00.000-08:00

Supermodel Naomi Campbell was arrested at her Park Avenue home today and charged with assaulting her housekeeper with a cell phone, New York City police said.

Campbell, who was later released, could face up to seven years in prison after she was charged with second degree assault for throwing a cell phone at housekeeper Ana Scolavino. Police said it struck her on the back of the head and opened a cut that needed four staples. Ouch!

What I want to know is... Did The housekeeper steal the jeans that Naomi accused her of taking (Naomi wanted to wear them on the Oprah show ) and if so, did they fit and was it worth it?

I Remember You

2006-03-25T15:16:00.001-08:00

Cloudy days in the spring make me think of you, Miss Chow
However the 17th of March is usually sunny and that makes me remember a canary bird, I once knew.

Happy Monkey

2006-03-23T15:10:00.000-08:00

Fantasia Lights used to make me happy. They looked so slim, pretty and rich all lined up in my antique sterling silver cigarette case.

Now I find happiness in other places.

Treat Her Like A Lady

2006-03-19T11:37:00.000-08:00

Catherine Deneuve looks as though she's about to scratch Pherrel Williams' eyes out. His way of cozying upto her like she's a video honey and not respecting his elders would make his clawing a bit justified.

Hey P, it wouldn't hurt to show a little respect.

"The Rabbi" thinks Cat is looking to take a bite out of his jugular.

Down Kitty, he's just an unknowing child.

The Battle For Earth

2006-03-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

South Park" has declared war on Scientology. Matt Stone and Trey Parker, creators of the animated satire, are digging in against the celebrity-endorsed religion after a controversial episode mocking outspoken Scientologist Tom Cruise was yanked abruptly from the schedule Wednesday with an Internet report saying it was covert warfare by Cruise that led to its departure.

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!" the "South Park" creators said in a statement Friday in Daily Variety. "Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies... You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail!"

The Internet blogger hollywoodinterrupted.com said Thursday that Cruise threatened to not promote "Mission: Impossible 3," a surefire summer blockbuster, if the offending episode ran. Comedy Central is owned by Viacom, as is Paramount, which is putting out the film.

But Cruise's representative, Arnold Robinson, told The Associated Press Friday that the mega-star made no such demands.

"Not true," Robinson said. "I can tell you that he never said that."

A call by The Associated Press to a Paramount representative was not returned Friday.

The episode in question, "Trapped in the Closet," which first aired last November, shows Scientology leaders hailing Stan, one of the show's four devilish fourth-graders, as a savior. A cartoon Cruise locks himself in a closet and won't come out. An animated John Travolta, another famous Scientologist, enters the closet to try to get him out.

The battle began in earnest earlier this week when Isaac Hayes, another celebrity Scientologist and longtime show member voicing the ladies' man Chef quit the show, saying he could no longer tolerate its religious "intolerance and bigotry."

Stone and Parker didn't buy that either.

On Monday, Stone told The Associated Press, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith in Scientology...He has no problem and he's cashed plenty of checks with our show making fun of Christians."

A Comedy Central spokesman said Friday that the network pulled the controversial episode to make room for two shows featuring Hayes.

"In light of the events of earlier this week, we wanted to give Chef an appropriate tribute by airing two episodes he is most known for," the spokesman said.

Bird Flu

2006-03-17T19:30:00.000-08:00

Kimora Lee Simmons, The Albatross Around The Neck Of Society has written a book. G-d help us all!

How a monster like that would get a book deal is beyond me. The Rabbi says "it's because she paid someone." I'm with "The Rabbi".

Violent Tendencies

2006-03-17T17:52:00.000-08:00

Poppa Who? Brazilian Ass-shaker? What?

K- Fed you need to take care of "Yo Chil'ren",(all of them) and learn to read while you're at it.

Gosh, times like this I wish I knew Capoeira. I'd kick him in the face.

Sticks And Stones

2006-03-15T20:31:00.000-08:00

Watch out Brad, bOuLdER- InCoMiNg!

Michael Douglas is taking some shots regarding your divorce from Jennifer Aniston, at you and girlfriend Angelina Jolie.

"I don't know about Brad Pitt, leaving that beautiful wife to go hold orphans for Angelina," Douglas snipes in GQ's April issue, hitting newsstands March 21.

"I mean, how long is that going to last?"

Pitt and ex-wife Jennifer Aniston divorced in October 2005. Since then, Pitt has adopted Jolie's children, Maddox and Zahara, and is expecting a child with the actress this summer.

Calls by The Associated Press to Pitt's representative, Cindy Guagenti, and Jolie's manager, Geyer Kosinski, were not immediately returned Tuesday.

The 61-year-old Douglas also took swipes at actresses Renee Zellweger and Julia Roberts: "I mean, don't ask me what happened with Renee Zellweger. I don't know how you get married for four months. And Julia with Lyle."

Zellweger annulled her four-month marriage to country singer Kenny Chesney last fall, while Roberts divorced singer-songwriter Lyle Lovett in 1995 after a two-year marriage.

Didn't he cheat on his wife before divorcing her and blamed it all on his sex addiction?

As "The Fashion Rabbi" Says... Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Get Your Grub On...

2006-03-13T23:21:00.000-08:00

Purim is one of my favorite holidays.

What is Purim, you ask?

During the period of time between the destruction of the First Temple and the building of the Second Temple, the Jews came very close to being annihilated because of the evil scheming of Haman with the King of Persia, Achashverosh.

Because of the clandestine intervention of Hashem, using Queen Esther and her uncle Mordechai as His messengers, the Jews were spared, and instead the nation of Israel was able to avenge themselves against their enemies. In order to commemorate these miraculous turn of events, we celebrate Purim on the 14th of Adar (and in walled cities such as Jerusalem, on the 15th of Adar) with feasts, sending gifts of food to our friends and the needy, and with the reading of the Megilla, the story of Purim.

The Fast of Esther is held on the day before Purim. We fast the whole day in order to commemorate the fast that Esther fasted before she went before the King Achashverosh to plead for mercy for the Jews. On this day we remember the dire situation that the Jews were faced with in those days and many times throughout history.

Purim Begins Tomorrow...March 14th. 2006
As I ate my take out dinner tonight from Cafe M, I knew there was something I was forgetting to do... Happy Purim Everyone!

Paul, You Forgot Something

2006-03-11T00:30:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: This blog contains some things, you may not like but oh well..."kids"...It's going to get serious.

Today, I gladly accept my lot as being a part of the unhappy minority on the subject of this year's Best Motion Picture category upset winner Crash. I admit that I couldn't stop laughing in the film’s beginning because it seemed to me that, Paul Haggis had written down every racial slur and epithet he had heard in his whole life and put it into this film.

Gee, Ma...I wish I could do that...and sell it.

Ever since seeing the film I have been drawn to talk to others about what made “Crash” so wonderful to them or possibly to find some lone spirit like myself that felt the same as I did; shamefully most often I kept my true feelings to myself because of the reaction that I would get when I expressed my opinion.

Oddly enough with all the “Crash” lovers out there, no one ever told me exactly why he or she loved the film sooooooooo much. Instead whenever I raised any issue that I had with the film, its supporters were quick to rally its cause. As a matter of fact, a “Crash” enthusiast told me, quite angrily yesterday that, I didn’t understand because it (the film) was meant to be an exercise. An exercise in what I asked but he never said. I couldn’t help but exclaim to myself, Bullshit!

I guess admitting that the film made you feel like a better person because your buttons got pushed and that caused you to question your morals can be a hard thing to acknowledge.

Ahhhh, I now understand why the "Crash" lovers are foaming at the mouth when challenged.

Since, Oscar Sunday I have been more baffled than ever as to why a film like this one would win Best Picture. Clearly, I was rooting for Brokeback Mountain, which to me was a beautiful film that told a better story of the human condition and was more ground braking than this race mockumentary.

The bases of “Crash” fell short on me and for months I was willing to run the risk that I could have been wrong about this but in the back of my mind I kept coming to my same standing issues with the film.

The thing that I disliked most about the film was the way the women were written. I had a hard time believing Jennifer Esposito’s character Ria, taking shit from a little man like Don Cheadle, a man she not only seem to outsize in stature but seemed to outwit as well. I couldn't quite wrap my mind around what would make a woman as Thandie Newton's character Christine withstand a humiliating molestation by a male officer played by Matt Dillon in the presence of her husband played by Terrance Howard and for nothing to be done about it afterwards makes me sick.

I know and understand the difficulties with taking on the authorities and the song and dance about minorities are still making strides and have so much further to go, blah, blah, blah. Actually I believe that “Every Man For Himself” is the real name of the game but it is always talked about using the divisive communal word "We" instead of me, as to keep it a secret. But to me that scene superseded the issue of race; it set, All Womankind Back To The Dark Ages.

Sadly, I never heard anyone talk about that problem concerning the film because it was probably shrugged off as a black issue and not an issue for none black women to discuss because it happened to a black woman; a definite barrier that blacks have had a hand in setting up.

Listen, women are women no matter what skin you’re in and what happens to one potentially happens to us all. The issue of what Ms. Newton’s character was feeling as a woman was never formally addressed. Instead it came in the form of a fight with her husband about who was whiter; a real insult because both are very light skinned blacks. She later apologized to her husband for her hurtful words. The writer made that scene about the husband’s pangs of racial inferiority. The emotional pain of the husband when his wife has been hurt is not the most pressing issue. My sentiment is... Sorry, Bro... I don't want to hear it.

Some people in the business make a pretty good living peddling the race issue. When race is talked about in America people do pep up and listen. Paul Haggis won an Oscar and made a sizable amount of cash, although Cathy Schulman (Crash's Co-Producer) is broke due to some nasty lawsuit. The proof still remains in the pudding.

Hollywood is perhaps more sexist than racist and no one ever seems to mention that. It is an old boys club where, yes, whites are preferred but… No Girls Allowed!

There are plenty of black and latino men working out there. Ever watch The Shield? Count the ethnic men and that is only one show there are numerous more not to mention the numbers are growing for writers, producers, directors, camera operators, and etc. I often wondered, how many women does Spike Lee employ, when you look at his crew it is full of minority men.

To quote Penelope Cruz’s character in Gothika, “Open Your Eyes” (say it in an annoying rat voice, it's funnier). Imagine being an actress or a woman in the business, trying to get one of your projects made with out a Front Man/Partner Speak Piece. It’s a hard life.

The one bright spot in the film was Sandra Bullock's character Jean that I thought was excellently played and unfortunately I felt she was overlooked by the academy but yet again, the writer made her apologize for the things she had done and said, as if to admit that she had some how brought her current misfortune on herself.

Her maid in the end was a paid employee not a friend and therefore obliged to take care of her and give her a hug. Perhaps, if the maid had more camera time I’m sure we would have heard the truth about what she thought and felt but then again given the record of this film, maybe not.

Paul Haggis created a false world because in the real world thank G-D, women don’t have to apologize for existing and in the real world some Blacks, Latinos, Asians, Muslims, and Whites, have a common fiber when it comes to hating the Jews. They say awful things about Jews and Jews in turn say awful things about them. It's nice to know that all races and ethnic groups do manage to come together on some things.

His fictitious world portrayal under its guise of being “real” was ultimately the biggest problem that I had with the film. The film caused me to ponder, not my feeling about race but what was he really trying to say and how much did he know and love his mother.

I felt that a lot of the characters made stupid choices. It could have been a better movie if the Persian shop owner Farhad had just been written out completely. Let's face it he wasn't a smart man to begin with, surely his daughter with her big scary all-seeing eyes, did know that. Then why did she buy a gun?

Mr. Haggis forgot to put in a very real deep-rooted hatred that seems to go back since the dawn of time or at least to when Christ was killed called anti-Semitism. Perhaps he didn't because this is Hollywood and he does want to work again. Besides “The Passion” has been done already.

Which leads to my conclusion that Paul Haggis made a film that was not only myopic in its views, he made a spurious world in which every person said to each others face what most people say behind each others back. That's not brilliant filmmaking that's irresponsible and again you forgot the Jews.

"Manorexia"

2006-03-10T23:16:00.000-08:00

Eating disorders are commonly thought to be a female problem, but Dennis Quaid speaks out to dispel that myth in a new interview with Best Life magazine.

The 51-year-old actor says he battled anorexia in the mid-1990s, around the time he shed 40 lbs. for the role of Doc Holliday in the film Wyatt Earp, the New York Post reports.

In the period the film portrays, Holliday was dying of tuberculosis, and Quaid lost the weight to capture the gaunt look of a man near death.

"My arms were so skinny that I couldn't pull myself out of a pool," Quaid admits, describing what he suffered from as "manorexia." "I wasn't bulimic, but I could understand what people go through with that."

But, like other people who suffer from the disease, he had an entirely different image of himself.

"I'd look in the mirror and still see a 180-lb. guy, even though I was 138 pounds," he says.

Today, Quaid appears trim but fit, and far cry from the dangerously low weight of the past. Even though the weight loss for the film was temporary, Quaid says the mentality stuck with him.

"For many years, I was obsessed about what I was eating, how many calories it had, and how much exercise I'd have to do," he tells the magazine.

Quaid also opens up about his split from ex-wife Meg Ryan, who recently told Oprah that their union was "unhealthy." The actor chalks it up to the challenges of career and having to spend time away from each other.

"There was a lot of time spent apart," he says. "Communication got tough. It was lonely and difficult. It was like we were single without the benefits of being single. And I think everybody knows what happened in the end, but that was just a symptom of other things."

The First Annual Yuck Awards

2006-03-06T23:58:00.000-08:00

Instead of covering the Academy Awards like everyone else in the world. I decided to be different and peruse the Vanity Fair party scene last night in West Hollywood. With Invites in hand we headed off to the biggest and best after party on the planet. Mind you, I tried to be fair and I did get a chance to sleep on it and with the ever objective eye of my fashion tribe brethren The Fashion Rabbi Ymmik and The Fashion Rab Mikuda Berg, these are my winners.

My Darling, Tom Ford gets the top honor because I'm still pissed off about last month's Vanity Fair cover. Funny I'm not the only one in Hollywood who hated it, he'd better watch his back.

Jennifer Lopez get her award because she looked great and was fine until she opened her mouth. I think they have classes for that awful elocution problem of hers.

When I heard that Kate Capshaw had put on her jeans before leaving the Governor's Ball I thought that was wonderful. How daring, right? I thought maybe they would be a pair of sexy Sevens or some Rock & Republics. She shows up wearing these! They're awful why stay in the Louboutins? Why not put on your dirty New Balance gym shoes while you where at it. They would certainly make your outfit complete.

Sam Jackson because he drinks iced tea in the winter and favors wearing velvet suits with turtle necks. He's so country and for an Ex- Crack Head Done Good, he has a nasty little attitude, usually indicative of someone who's had it too good for too long. Learn a different character. Let's Not Play It Again, Sam.

Gayle King because she is too tone on tone. Her hair color doesn't work for her and who in the hell wears boas!

Heath Ledger because he's just plain gross. Just to think of his offspring makes me noxious.

Amber Valletta's school marme look with the big black Minnie Mouse shoes in not as operational as she thinks, judging by her proud yet dim-witted pose. She looks like she woke up hitting the bottle and took a hit of something else, AKA a hit of false confidence in powder form, while she was at it. The look somehow worked in Italian Vogue but it's not working on you, Amber.

Carl Gugino faker fur gave me the creeps. I thought it was going to take a bite out of me. She should have left that peice of shit at home. She looked better without it.

This one hurt...I like Garcelle Beauvais but for shame. She knows better and she usually looks good. Now, this is a beautiful woman "People" not Halle Berry. This dress was vulgar on Garcelle. It was too thight and pulling in some places. Perhaps she should have gotten it in a bigger size. Her purse was this oversized pearl white satin puff pouch, it was obvious that she was trying to match the purse to the buttons but she missed not only the mark but every point in between. She finished this atrocity with gold foiled thong sling backs. What The F#@^%...

Terry Hatcher workin' The Stick, The Witch and the Minnie Mouse shoes.

Gina Gershon, again another faker fur that should have been left at home. What's the point in wearing a fake fur "Ladies"? If you're against it don't wear it. If you can't afford one, buy vintage.

John Leguizamo the other Rat Man. I can't figure out who looks more rodent like him or Marc Anthony.

Julie Delphy because she's French, annoying, thinks she's so freakin' hot and her cheap shoes bugged me besides the white bandage she had wrapped around one of her toes. You know Julie, they have transparent bandages now. Next time get your corns in order at least a week prior to the event you will be attending. Oh and Americans are stupid and French women are beautiful and dress well. Yeah right!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Harvey Weinstein

Keira Knightley, every time is she her I want to slap her in the back to make her stand up straight.

Kristen Davis really should have popped some hot rollers in after having rolled out of bed.

Eve looked gorgeous but those tat paws don't work. Cover them up, get them removed or wear another dress.

A New World's Q'Orianka Kilcher is barely 16 and already she's shown me the true meaning of an Ugly Ass Dress! She looks like...how can I explain... If Patron Silver came in the form of a pill and you took too many, this dress is what you would see chasing you.

Lindsay Lohan because she blew this stupid kiss and her nips were rock hard. Did something excite you, you Paparazzi Whore!

Quentin Tarantino because he's got big child bearing hips and he's looks like he's been shopping at Chicos.

Lauren Hutton (as I'm shaking my head), I was happy to see that she had gotten rid of the stupid brown driving gloves. She did have on a pair of YSL pumps that she traded in for these dumb blue hand woven moccasins. Although, she still looks like she's waiting for a horse.
Clue phone's for you Lauren... You're not a Peruvian Indian sheep herder attending a relative's wedding! This ain't Brokeback Mountain. It's Hollywood!

Sienna Miller because remember Q'Orianka Kilcher's Dress, well this is the path of destruction left by the Patron episode. Although this could have been cute if it was cut super short. Someone's trying to work the Factory Girl look and is still not getting it right. Finding the true essence of Edie has become a way of life for you and she's alluded you once more... how sad... Get your own damned style and stop trying to rip off the dead!

Zooey Deschanel because she has annoyed me all week and her dress is stupid not to mention ugly. Thank G-d she didn't where those Prada patent leather wedgies again.

Kimora Lee Simmons, The Albatross Around The Neck Of Society was a little out of her element last night. You know for someone who has supposedly so many diamonds hers looked a little plastic and cloudy. Where are your minions of maids now bitch!

Joan Collins, someone Please, 911 the Wig Master we've got a DOA.

Hard For Hoes Too!

2006-03-05T22:42:00.000-08:00

From the looks of it, obviously!

Taraji P.Henson is tired and it shows. And this is before she performed "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp' from the movie "Hustle and Flow" with Three-6 Mafia at the 78 Annual Academy Awards.

Girrrrrrl, which mirror were you looking in? And I don't want to her that tired crap about "a sister can't get a break in Hollywood".

Awful is Awful no matter what skin you're in.

Is this why Halle Berry is the poster child for blackywood? Because although Halle and her stylist Bloch- head have very little fashion sense between them, she (Halle not Phillip), often passes for looking good because she plays it safe and a least she's pretty (not beautiful) and has good skin.

Considering that Taragi worked several times last year she could have at least negotiated a better dress. Paying for it is always an option too. One word for her... Gruesome and sad. Well that was two but who's counting?

Bush Wacked

2006-03-05T11:29:00.000-08:00

Apparently Janeane Garofalo has said, on her Air America show, a nationally syndicated talk radio broadcast, that she will not shave her bush until the other Bush (President Bush) is out of office. WHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUAAAAAAT!

I can't help but do the math. I'm calling my accountant.

Hello Nelson. It's me. Hey, the Chihuahuas are doing well. How was Fiji? That's great! (Chatting with Nelson)

Can you help me figure something out? How long till...

( Still Chatting with Nelson, filling him in, No her bush!
...the other Bush. )

Just a second... And that comes to 1051 Days, 8 Hours and...bare with us... 29 minutes and some odd second that she will go with out grooming her mane coon.

Thanks, Nelson, bye.

With summer coming just imagine that hairy italian monkey of hers all sweaty and... Oh Goodness!!!! "Rabbi" you scared me!

"Ladies". "Hey LADIES", somethings you need to keep to yourselves.

Did I mention that she said this on her radio show that is transmitted to 89 radio stations around the country and is also broadcasted on XM Satellite as well.

I just hope that this... No, this won't turn into a burn your bra thing, like the last time, will it?

I love La Perla.

"Ladies", hunger strikes seem to work best, just look at our friend Nicole Richie.

We could find ourselves asking Why, What on earth, What's the point, What Is She Trying To Prove, What's She Trying To Say and possibly just plain ole' WHAAAAAT THHE FUCK?!!

But my question is...

She shaves, it?

How barbaric and undignified is that.

Stay Tuned

2006-03-04T14:06:00.000-08:00

Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming! Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming! Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming! Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming! Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming! Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming! Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming! Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming! Brokeback "The Wings" re-mix is coming!

So I heard...Or we'll just have to stand it the way it is.

The Way We Were

2006-03-04T08:30:00.000-08:00

Who could possibly forget when Kim Basinger turned up wearing this frock in 1990. Unfortunately people remembered the dress and not her date which was Prince ( the actual one probably responsible for this fashion disaster, she had a few others but she had help this time). It's probably a good thing for her that they did forget because he made her look even more ridiculous as they walked the red carpet together.

"Oh mommy, look at the pretty lady in the funny wedding dress with the little man. Is he a leprechaun ?"

Basinger and Prince began their brief fling began while filming "Batman" the movie in which she starred and he recorded the sound track. It probably ended after she walked on stage to present the award for "Best Somebody, Something", when all the while on stage she looked a bit uncomfortable possibly because a few people snickered.

I not only snickered, I laughed my ass off. Most people clapped to cover the sound of their laughs.

Oh Rabbi, don't give me that look! You were falling over in hysterics too.

Adieu to the days of yore when celebrities picked their own clothes and we saw their true fashion sense. Some good, some bad, some very bad and we had laughs at their expense. Those were the good ole' days...

Now everybody has a stylist.

How boring, just like this years Academy Awards Sunday March 5,2006 5PM PT/ 8 PM ET on ABC.

Oh and what's with the stupid posters?

Let's Make Lots Of Money

2006-02-28T09:30:00.000-08:00

Kate Moss sat in the front row between photographer Mario Testino and publisher Jefferson Hack, the father of her daughter, Lila Grace at the Burberry show in Milan last week.

The supermodel is preparing to sign a lucrative contract with fashion giant Calvin Klein -- a deal that will reportedly boost her earnings to more than before her little nose powder incident. The grapevine also has it that she has signed deals with Stella McCartney, Virgin Mobile and a host of other well known companies.

The new deal, which Moss' people confirmed with our sources, is thought to be worth close to $2.6 million and comes six months after photographs of Moss allegedly snorting cocaine threatened to end her career.

The fashion house Burberry is also reportedly reversing their decision, offering her $1.8 million for another annual signing.

How's that for a quick turn around...

FYI, "People" just because Kate Moss wears vintage Vivienne Westwood that does not make her a fashion icon.

Also,can someone Please give Naomi Campbell a major substantial contract. She is just as deserving as Ms. Moss if not more so.

And everyone wonders why she's angry. Hell, that makes me want to slap my assistant.

Where's My Phone!

Wake Me Up

2006-02-27T13:56:00.000-08:00

Wham! And then it happened.

George Michael arrested. Again!

The singer was first arrested for engaging in a lewd sex act with a undercover police office here in Los Angeles a few yeras back.

George Michael was seen at London’s Hyde Park Corner at 1.50am yesterday.

Police and an ambulance raced to the scene after someone spotted the semi-conscious singer slumped over in his dark Range Rover.

After ensuring the star had no obvious injury, officers breath-tested and searched him. He was then taken into custody.

The police allegedly found cannabis and GHB — a Class C drug known as Liquid Ecstasy.

In the trunk, the police are also said to have found a cache of pornographic material including sex toys and masks.

Can't the man get his "FREAK ON" Damn-It!

We Still Love You, George!

Ordinary People

2006-02-27T12:27:00.000-08:00

Kate Beckensale eating and smoking for her life.

What did "Fish Sticks" Gwynnie Paltrow say about Americans again?

It's Not So Bad

2006-02-26T23:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, I've taken the test and this is where I'm going.

I always knew that I was going to hell but what level that was always the question.

Eighth Level of Hell - the Malebolge (is the place for me )

Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an amphitheatre -shaped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

Oh, give me a break, I live in L.A, We're all going to hell! Fish Sticks Paltrow will be there too.

They forgot to include the publicists, reality show personalities (especially the ones that do home improvement) and the people in children's programming.

Click the title and take Dante's Test and see where you're going.

See you in hell, Bozo's waiting.

Ta-Ta for now...

I Have A Dream

2006-02-26T12:49:00.000-08:00

I've often had dreams like this one, where I'm running for my life and I'm,...Well... I'm the one with the number.
Welcome to my Matrix.

N-No

2006-02-26T09:55:00.000-08:00

Remember when her P/R team and her shameless self promotion made her out to be the hottest living creature on the planet?

Remember what a social climber she was?

Ben Aflec got away by the skin of his teeth but not unscathed by her publicity whoring. She went rebounding to Rat Man ( Marc Anthony) but not before busting up his marriage to The Lady Rat ( whats-her-face, his ex-wife who used to be Ms. Universe).

One of her many down falls has been that she, Jennifer Lopez, breathed too much of her own air.

How sad, very sad... ( shaking my head )

Times have certainly changed. Her face and her hype have much in common these days.

Yes, old, tired and has seen better days.

Jennifer Lopez at the Dolce and Gabbana show in Milan.

She so thinks she's Sophia Loren.

NOT & NEVER! or Never & Not!

N-No, for short.

Mos Def-initely Wrong

2006-02-25T13:32:00.000-08:00

Falling behind on child support.

Are We? Yes...Sad but Mos, be true.

A New York judge on Thursday ordered the rapper-actor Mos-Def to make good on $10,000-a-month payments to his estranged wife, Maria Yepes-Smith, to care for the ex-couple's seven- and eight-year-old daughters, the New York Post reports.

Mos, whose real name is Dante Smith, was supposed to start sending the checks on Jan. 1 as part of his divorce settlement from Yepes-Smith, but he has had some cash-flow problems, according to his lawyer. So far, the two checks he has sent so far have fallen short by about $2,000.

With Mos Def having three other kids to care for. "It's the best he can do under the circumstances," the hip-hopster's attorney, Steven Goldfeder, told a Brooklyn court. "He has several children. He's always provided for them."

OOOOOO, No HE Di'NT!

Goldfeder then lobbied Judge Sarah Krauss to reduce the payments for Yepes-Smith, claming she reneged on a promise to home school the girls.

Neither Mos Def nor Maria Yepes-Smith talked to reporters after the hearing. But her lawyer, Karen Blaustein, questioned exactly what business problems Mos Def could have given his film roles in the pipeline, in particular 16 Blocks, a thriller starring Bruce Willis slated to open next month.

A Quiet Thunder

2006-02-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

Ladies, Ladies, something is a brewing. I can feel it in my bones. No, it's not my wiccan super senses either. See my profile page on http://www.myspace.com/elbibdratsab. Which leads me to my point. I'm glad I found it right away,(my point that is).

Ladies, don't always believe what you read. I am not a witch, sometimes I'm a real..."Nice Person" says the Rabbi. Thank you Rabbi.

Last night MTV held it's fourth annual TRL awards in NYC. Ashley Simpson, Mariah Carey and a cast of others performed. Mariah's looking a bit round these days.

But Ashley Simpson is the one I'd like to focus on for the moment. Take a good look at the picture of her and notice the scarf that she's wearing. You see it? Sure you do. It's an Alexander McQueen. Pay close attention to the double stripe boarder on the scarf with anchors scattered about. It's a new design of his classic skull scarf.

Now Tootsiesells on eBay, anyone remotely interested in fashion, has come across her post season, still expensive wares to private buyers at some point or another in the past four year period, give or take, (the time that its taken to grow her still growing eBay business).

She is going to use this picture, the one that I have of Ashley Simpson and she will tell you that same old story about it being the last one in the Whole Wide World, Sold Out Across The Globe and she will use that same picture from the Alexander Mcqueen fashion show circa spring/summer 2002.

Don't believe it! All you have to do is call the boutique. The Alexander Mcqueen boutique is located in Chelsea at 417 W. 14th St., New York, NY 10014 near Ninth Ave. 212-645-1797.
They still sells them and they are arriving soon in new colors.

Far be it for me keeping a good business woman down but I thought you should know.

Now that you have the information. Good night and good luck!

Quarter Pounder At The Big Mac

2006-02-21T20:52:00.000-08:00

On, one of my many errand runs today, I found myself at The Grove and it wasn't to shop at Abercrombie and Fitch. Admitingly, I was never what you'd call a real customer of theirs anyway. I would always stop in to see if Lara Flynn Boyle was snaking around with her wiener lips or if they had these cargo pants that I liked.

I didn't start jonesing for another pair until mine went AWOL on a trip to NYC. I was never quite proud of the fact that I got them there, anyway. I removed all of the labels with my little red seam rippers after I bought them. If someone asked where I got them I always said "You know I've had them so long I can't remember. They're so old." I got tons of compliments when I wore them.

Now, I hate, no, I LOATH that store after an incident that I had there this summer when I tried to return a pair of cargo pants that never quite fit right. They never made the ones I liked again, being the trend whores and soft porn peddlers that they are. "They're too cool to make brand staples."

It seems that once you exchange an item that you've purchased, even with the receipt, even within a certain time frame, you forfeit the right to a return by the same means as your purchase. They keep your money and give you a store credit. Ninety dollars is a decent chunk of change to give to a store that gives nothing back. It's not a Barney's or a Neiman Marcus in the least bit. They invite me to parties and they know how to treat people.

At Abercrombie they are are great in their own minds and to them, that's what counts, not what the customer thinks. Most of the sales people at the store aren't even familiar with this absurd policy until the computer tells them it's a no, no.

So they couldn't warn you even if they wanted to.

If they'd taken the pair of cargos that I had originally wanted off of the display like I had asked, I wouldn't have had this problem in the first place.

They don't sell display merchandise. Another one of their stupid policies. Can, I tell You how much I HATE THAT COMPANY!

I forgot what I was going to say... I did see, Drea de Matteo having lunch at The Farm. That restaurant is so gross and the food is awful, why on earth she would go there is beyond me.

I had the Tuna Three Ways there once... FISH... Oh that reminds me, I saw CCH Pounder at the Mac store, I was looking for some software and so was she.

All Aboard!!!!!

2006-02-21T12:21:00.000-08:00

Get on board the Kabbalah Bus! The Kabbalah Center has a new product to peddle and it in the form of an energy drink. I'm all for that! Wow, now I can have my Patron with my Kabbalah and not feel guilty.

Rabbi Ymmik exclaims "G-d is Great!"

You can say that again, Rabbi! "

Kabbalah Energy Drink comes in regular and sugar-free.

Madonna is Jewish! She just doesn't know it.

Dirty Boy

2006-02-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

Heath Ledger Before: He's all fun and games. Life couldn't be better. I do what I want, I say what I want. I run around with dirty finger nails. Kheils gives me all the grooming products I need for FREE but I don't use them. Hell, I barely use soap and water.

Heath Ledger After: Someone told him that there is a little thing in California called a smoking ordinance. He can't go around smoking in indoor areas of fancy hotels ~~(The Four Seasons)~~ and eateries. I don't care who you are when it comes to my health. Star or not he needs to comply with it. Does he smoke around his baby too?

Bosten Legal

2006-02-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago, Dianna Abdala, a 24-year-old Boston-area attorney, had apparently agreed to work for William Korman.

Then things went sour in a series of last minute e-mails.
Following is their e-mail correspondence, that degenerated into a spat that got e-mailed to various attorneys, publications and "Nightline."

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 9:23 PM
To: William A. Korman
Subject: Thank you

Dear Attorney Korman,

At this time, I am writing to inform you that I will not be accepting your offer.

After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that the pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living in light of the work I would be doing for you. I have decided instead to work for myself, and reap 100% of the benefits that I sow.

Thank you for the interviews.

Dianna L. Abdala, Esq.

-----Original Message-----
From: William A. Korman
To: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 12:15 PM
Subject: RE: Thank you

Dianna --

Given that you had two interviews, were offered and accepted the job (indeed, you had a definite start date), I am surprised that you chose an e-mail and a 9:30 PM voicemail message to convey this information to me. It smacks of immaturity and is quite unprofessional. Indeed, I did rely upon your acceptance by ordering stationary and business cards with your name, reformatting a computer and setting up both internal and external e-mails for you here at the office. While I do not quarrel with your reasoning, I am extremely disappointed in the way this played out. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Will Korman

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:01 PM
To: William A. Korman
Subject: Re: Thank you

A real lawyer would have put the contract into writing and not exercised any such reliance until he did so.

Again, thank you.

-----Original Message-----
From: William A. Korman
To: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:18 PM
Subject: RE: Thank you

Thank you for the refresher course on contracts. This is not a bar exam question. You need to realize that this is a very small legal community, especially the criminal defense bar. Do you really want to start pissing off more experienced lawyers at this early stage of your career?

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
To: William A. Korman
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:28 PM
Subject: Re: Thank you

bla bla bla

Agent 007

2006-02-19T13:09:00.000-08:00

1) Sean Connery
2) Timothy Dalton
3) Pierce Brosnan
4) Rodger Moore

Who do you like Better?
I Like Roger Moore. His karate chop was magnificent. He was also campy. Pierce Brosnan was fun too.

Ole Lady Lanvin

2006-02-19T13:03:00.000-08:00

I returned these Lanvin sandals. They were too old lady and also made in Spain.
That turned me off completely seeing that they cost, well we won't talk about that... For the price that they were, they should have been made in France.

Elber Albaz probably had them sourced out and made at the Aldo factory.
That's just wrong.

Little Spears

2006-02-19T10:59:00.000-08:00

I tried to pick flattering pictures. I really did. Halle Berry was the Hasty Pudding's Woman Of the Year recipient. She received her award on Thursday (see my post, How About A Pudding Pop).

And those of you who know me, know that I really have tried to like Halle Berry.

I tried to be fair but this time she forced my hand.

Those tetas (titties in spanish) look like little spears in her hands. Or those flat rocks they use in massage.

Why, are they in her hands like that?!!

"Ladies" always lift up gently as to support from the bottom middle section where the breast begins to curve upward and cup softly as to accentuate the breasts.

What was I saying Rabbi Ymmik? Oh yes, I was about to answer my own question. She's probbably conveying something important.

And she wonders why know one takes her seriously.

Wow, she is really talentless and lucky all at the same time. Good for her!

Trivia: Did you know that Denise Richards and Halle Berry were separated at birth? Ivana Chubnick (the acting teacher) is their mother.

Halle go buy some Sri Vectin Cream, your stretch marks are showing.

Breaking News!

2006-02-19T09:16:00.000-08:00

Well, not really but.. it seems as though everyone was wrong this week about the Tom Cruise/ Katie Holmes break up. It's not that I'm for a break-up.
I just want her to run for her life, that's all.

Meanwhile, with the threat of terrorism and Katie's parents wanting their daughter back, security at the Celebrity Center is tighter than ever, however we did manage to get an illustration of Tom's church badge photo. Sorry it's the best we could do. The paparazzi are terrified of him.

Just Kidding. Did you know... Tom Cruise runs in all of his movies?

Silence

2006-02-17T10:45:00.000-08:00

Can't you hear the laughter?

Top photo: Camilla,Duchess of Cornwall with a young goat.
Bottom: The Duchess eating ice cream ( I wonder if it's made from goat's milk )

Wait! Does that goat have a metal plate in his head?

Show Me The Dork

2006-02-17T00:10:00.000-08:00

Jesse Metcalf is such a dork.
He wears black ankle socks at the gym... and often wanders around aimlessly looking confused.

A Million Peices of Frey'd Chicken

2006-02-16T18:00:00.000-08:00

Writer James Frey really got a batter'n by Oprah. So much so, that I personally felt a little sorry for him. He looked as if he was going to cry. She's such a bully, that one. He looked down right terrified of the big O, all pinned up in her suit with an Elizabethan like collared blouse. She looked like a strange scary bird.

Oprah probably told him that if he didn't appear on the show to explain himself moreover for her to make him look like a Kentucky Frey'd Fool that she would sue him and four generations of him family for everything they were worth.

Just think…there was actually a time when Oprah was fat (only up until recently), with a kinky fro and no friends. She couldn't get invited to a party no matter how much money she donated to charity.

Today outside of her friend Gail King the number of friends she really has is questionable. I hope that she hasn’t fooled herself into thinking that she has been taken in by Hollywood. Because Hollywood is and always has been for sale.

Although, your empire remains Oprah, you sold your journalistic integrity along with your soul a long time ago. Jerry Springer and Oprah covered some of the same topics. AM Chicago, anyone remember that?

Certainly O., you should be able to sympathize with someone writing a book to make money and a possible name for themselves. James Frey wrote a very good book. You said so, yourself. The publishers thought so too. After all he got a multi-book deal.

Seems to me that you have been breathing too much of your own air. Perhaps you have had it too good for too long. You’ve defiantly come along way from your meager beginnings but you seem to have forgotten what life is like for the rest of us.

Hooray, for Bruce Willis, taking up for Mr. Frey. I must say… The way that most people are so quick to agree with her as if she is never wrong is creepy and unsettling.

Oprah’s bullying escapades began last summer with the French luxury brand Hermes.

As a long time customer of the company, I am very disappointed that they apologized about the incident. Hermes had nothing to apologize for. They weren't being racist as she did refer to it as her “CRASH” moment. Your feelings were hurt O., and I can understand that but it was “YOU” who was rude.

Bonjour, the “Clue Phone’s” for you, Oprah.
At your level of the high profile "look at me I have money" game, you shouldn't just show up to a store at closing and expect to be let in to shop.

Perhaps here in America that somehow flies but you forgot that Paris is not a part of the United States although you probably travel there as much as you do any other American city. i.e. New York, Los Angeles or Miami.
You are a visitor in France and you should act accordingly. What you did was rude no matter what country you’re in.

Next time have your assistant make, an appointment for you to shop, if your hours are irregular. I’m sure someone would be glad to come in early or stay late for you.

Is this what “Fish Sticks” (Gwyneth Paltrow) meant when she said something about Americans not being civilized?
See my post: Sofa-King-Re-Tar -Did

You Ain't Jesus

2006-02-16T10:01:00.000-08:00

Kanye West is calling for a revised edition of The Bible, because he thinks he should be a character in it.
He says: "I bring up historical subjects in a way that makes kids want to learn about them. I'm an inspirational speaker. I changed the sound of music more than one time... For all those reasons, I'd be a part of the Bible. I'm definitely in the history books already."

I guess, no one ever told him about Mother Teresa. I'd like to know, if he talking about his Time Magazine cover and does he think it's a history book?

Seems to me that someone is letting the fact that he is in the Wikipedia, go to his head. Doesn't the bible say something about humility?

The Wikipedia ( the free on-line encyclopedia that anyone can edit ) needs your help? Please Donate... Especially you Kanye. I know you had your publicist write your page. It's sad but probably true. Press is Press.

You May Be Wrong, You May Be Right

2006-02-15T11:22:00.000-08:00

David Lachapelle is not The Fashion Rabbi's favorite person. The Rabbi thinks, well... He can be a bit hissy and he wears pink not to be confused with rose or salmon. I find him a little on the scary side of crazy, myself but sometimes that can be a good thing. I say, at least he's exciting. We both agree that he is one the most prolific photographer of our time.

Now he is suing Ashley and Jessica Simpson for $10,000, for walking away from a photo shoot for Rolling Stone magazine.

He's been quoted by PageSix.com as saying, "They're everything that's wrong with music. Out of everything combined, they're everything wrong with culture, and everything wrong with art, and what we think of as art and musical culture - in one family!

The Simpsons say that, they walked away because they found his demands unsettling. At least I know that I'm not the only one that finds his scary but I also know talent when I see it.

Ashley and Jess, look at it this way at least he didn't ask you to get naked like Liver Lips Knightley and Scarlett JoPlumPson. Now that's image damaging. Girls, read a book. BOTH OF YOU!

See Beached Whale Anyone Feb. 8, 2006

Mi So Hongri...

2006-02-15T09:11:00.000-08:00

The Marc Jacobs runway look for Fall 2006

Love the big Hats. To bad it's too hot to wear it now. That's exactly what I wanted to be for Purim, a big mushroom with a handbag.

Perhaps I'll stroll over to Melrose Place (that's were the Marc Jacobs boutiques are located) and place a special order for Rabbi Ymmik and myself.

Green is my favorite color but the gray one is awesome...

Stop It! You're making me hungry.

Marc Jacobs Fashion Week 2006 NYC.
Photos: Macio Madeira
Special Thanks to Style.com

Love Ain't Always Pretty

2006-02-14T19:18:00.000-08:00

A Valentine's Day Poem by Elbib

Perhaps he and his girlfriend got matching waxes. He his back and her...

Her snatch!

Happy Valentines Day!

You Need Jesus!

2006-02-09T07:46:00.000-08:00

Rachel, you know what you said!!!
Make me so daaaaaaammnnned maaaaaaad ( as I'm rummaging through my Hermes Birkin looking for a pair of pruning shears, but continuing on in my rant) with those big eyebrows that wrap round your head like a Geordi visor. Speaking of which I saw LeVar Burton and his beautiful wife Stephanie, the other day lovely people they are...
Getting back to those brows that need A Constant Gardner. Damone Roberts can't help this one. The Rabbi has a wonderful gardner named Jesus( pronounced Hey-soos).
Edelweisz, you should be ashamed of yourself because yes, if we were smart we'd ship you ass back across the pond and we'd make sure that you stayed there. You're another one that has made a name for yourself by the grace of America allowing you to work and the helping hand of lady luck. You should say prayers of thanks everyday for everything that this country has afforded you. Yes, I know that perhaps, you had a little bit of fame before you got here butt- face "it". Sorry. That one was too easy. Uh oh, The Fashion Rabbi is looking at me a little funny. Whaaaaaaat, my Red String Broke.
Rachel, you have a fiance who's American. "Ladies" this is what I mean..." You Have Got To Start Thinking Before You Speak".
Seems to me the real stupid one is you and of course Gwyenth Paltrow that goes without saying...
Congratulations on your Oscar nomination.

Photo Rachel Weisz by Theo Wargo: Wireimage.com
Photo of LeVar Burton as Geordi La Forge "Star Trek" The Next Generation appears Courtesy Gene Trindi, Paramount Studios
Special Thanks to Mickey Dix at MickDixon.blog.com

Check This Out

2006-02-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

David LaChapelle "The Fellini of photography" as he's been called by New York Magazine although I don't think he takes himself as seriously and his photos are never contrived. LaChapelle holds a rightful place as one of the most high profile, spectacular and respected photographers of the day. Working mainly in the field of fashion and celebrity, countless VIPs have gone before his hallowed lens, including Britney Spears, Madonna, Naomi Campbell and Paris Hilton. Let's just forget that I mentioned the last one or the first one for that matter. While magazines like Vogue Italia, Vanity Fair, The Face and countless others have used his fantasy imagery and viewer eye candy on their pages for the last decade. OOOOOOOHHHHHH How We Love Him! Lucky No:7 Check it out. The Rabbi's peyyahs need combing. Got's ta go.

http://www.guyhepner.com/content/content.php?loadartistid=7

Is This Really So Bad?...

2006-02-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

Mind you,

I searched high and low for this cartoon and I must say I'm rather disappointed. I expected something a little more... How do I say this... Mind-Blowingly funny, Fall Your Ass On The Floor Belly Laugh, Now "Dat's" Comedy uproar. Not!

Seems to me that some of us should develop a sense of humor. People have been make fun of asians, blacks, homosexuals, jews, white men who can't dance or jump, the dumb blonde, Jesus and the French for along time. A certain group not worth mentioning laugh, sing, throw candy and make that annoying squawking sound whenever tragedy befalls a western nation. Say it loud and be proud, "America fuck yeeeeaaah!"

Now Muhammad is just like everybody else. A TARGET!

Welcome Mo, we've been waiting for you.

Straight Out of The PJs

2006-02-07T20:40:00.001-08:00

Inventive Fashion Photographs

CHUCK CLOSE, ANNIE LEIBOVITZ, VIK MUNIZ
JANUARY 26 - MARCH 4, 2006
IMAGES

Press Release
Inventive Fashion Photographs
PRESS RELEASE
Inventive Fashion Photographs:
Chuck Close, Annie Leibovitz, Vik Muniz.

January 27 – March 4, 2006.

"Inventive Fashion Photographs – Chuck Close, Annie Leibovitz, Vik Muniz - looks at three unusual fashion shoots done on assignment for mainstream magazines by three of today's leading fine art photographers. Bringing their trademark styles to the exigencies of the editorial assignment – each photographer produced work that represented their own singular vision while expanding the boundaries of the commissioning magazine.

Beginning with W Magazine's September 2003 tribute to Kate Moss – where artists and photographers ranging from Lucien Freud to Bruce Weber worked with Ms. Moss with virtually no restrictions - Chuck Close's unflinching daguerreotype studies of Kate Moss's unmade-up face and body are images that continue to resonate. (It should be noted that these pictures were selected for the exhibition well before Ms. Moss's recent troubles.)

With no clothes, beauty products, or accessories to sell, these pictures are still relevant to fashion as they examine every pore of arguably the most influential model of our day. The dispassionate nature of Close's lens shatters most illusions of natural beauty, but in defying both today's dominant airbrush mentality and the false surface of the fashion and beauty industry Close finds in Moss's face - in critic David Cohen's words: "a kind of defiant white trash beauty that recalls Dorothea Lange's classic depictions of impoverished migrants".

For Close the experience of the shoot was a pleasant surprise. "She wore no makeup; she hadn't combed her hair, and she never even glanced in the mirror. But she said, 'I've had enough pretty pictures made of me.' She understood what it is that I do, and she was perfectly willing to comply."

In December 2003's VOGUE magazine, Annie Leibovitz joined the roster of photographers imagining Alice in Wonderland from Lewis Carroll himself to Richard Avedon, Cindy Sherman, and Anna Gaskell.

Leibovitz's re-staging draws its inspiration from Sir John Tenniel's original illustrations but casts its characters from fashion's own fantastical universe. Thus Natalia Vodanova, who once upon a time helped support her family by selling crates of fruit in Nizhniy Novgorod and now enjoys multi-million dollars contracts with the likes of Calvin Klein and L'Oreal, becomes the new fashionista Alice. Christian Lacroix plays the March Hare, Viktor and Rolf Tweedledum and Tweedledee, and John Galliano the Queen of Hearts.

As in many of Leibovitz's most iconic images the central conceit echoes some aspect of the sitter's fame, but the artifice of the construction is belied by the skill and believability of the execution. These pictures, with their storybook color and artful mix of natural and artificial light (a technique which Leibovitz pioneered) stand as remarkably successful set-pieces in Leibovitz's ongoing body of work.

Vik Muniz's fashion "Pictures of Wire", commissioned by the New York Times Magazine in September, 2004, re-create the line and form of four silhouettes from the Spring 2005 season in re-photographed wire renderings.

Muniz's pictures are playful illusions that twist and redefine our perception of the commonplace and the fantastic. Muniz first sketches an image, then sculpts or composes it out of material not usually associated with the creation of art, and finally creates a photograph of the object he has produced. By drawing The Last Supper with chocolate syrup, or constructing a Van Gogh out of Pantone swatches Muniz flouts artistic convention and high art seriousness. His pictures are never quite what they seem, challenging the viewer to rethink images and their meanings by taking a second glance. As Vince Aletti pointed out in the Village Voice, "[Muniz] has teased the medium mercilessly and with an infectious glee. He makes pictures of pictures -- sly, punning documents that subvert photography by forcing it to record not the natural world but a fiction, a simulation."

In Muniz's wire fashion photographs, we see that what interests him most (and also applies to Close and Leibovitz's work in this show) is the representation of objects rather than the objects themselves, and the dislocation between expectation and fact, imagination and reality.

For further information please contact Danziger Projects at 212 629 6778 or at: info@danzigerprojects.com.

Elbib and The Fashion Rabbi Ymmik say... Check it out. Always down with the PJ's.